I am getting divorced in Washington State. I feel good about the parenting plan, but am always open to additional feedback/guidance. However, the community property part I’m far less comfortable with.

I’m utilizing a smaller fee legal support to help navigate things. My wife of 20 years hasn’t worked in about 10 years in part because her mom helps out. For instance she bought a new fence for us. It always made me uncomfortable because all gifts have strings attached. Lesson learned, I need to be more assertive.

We own a house with a fair amount of equity. Her mom helped with a deposit 12 years ago, I have a copy of the letter where it states it was a gift and there is no expectation for repayment. I’ve paid 100% of our mortgage and utility payments with money I earned.

I overheard them saying that I have less of a claim to the equity because she (her mom) purchased certain things such as the fence. While I am grateful for her contributions, they were also what allowed my wife to remain unemployed and granted my mother in law too much access to our marriage.

Is there any validity to what she is saying? I’m not wealthy by any means, but made enough to get by. I’m already paranoid about alimony and child support, so I was banking on the equity to help me bridge the gap.

I know no one can give me legal advice and that there is a lot of context specific details you do t have access to. I’m just hoping I can get a nudge in the right direction so I can start planning for how to respond.

Thank you in advance.