I´ll try to keep this somewhat short relative to what it could have been, but I think some background story is warranted. The short version is that I´ve decided I to do a formative journey abroad where the main focus is to jump start my dating life and connect with people in general, and I want to get some opinions on where to go and what to consider. You can just jump to that section if you don´t want to read my background.

So a little bit of background: I´m 34 years old now and have been living quiet life for all of my adult life. I haven´t traveled a lot, I´ve worked and have studied for 7 years at University-level. My datinglife have been completely ignored, and I mean completely. I´ve been living in a voluntary celibacy for many years. This celibacy extended to friends, I´ve been more or less asocial playing video games on my spare time (have been quite social at work at times, though). There´s many reasons for this that I can´t go into in detail, but in short it´s a mix of some psychological factors and rational factors (rationalizing included):

  • Grew up in a emotionally deprived home where both of my parents probably have personality disorders (I know it´s unlikely, but I have good reason to believe it).

  • I had no good relationships to friends either – In short I grew up without any good relationship to others.

  • In my early adulthood I adopted this «fuck humanity»-mindset where I intentionally decided to go my own way and not rely on anyone.

  • I found out that I had a talent for rational thinking and philosophy, and although I didn´t want to spend more time with people than necessary, I did want to make the world a better place. So I spent years upon years studying different subjects to understand the world in order to improve it. My plan was to start writing books.

  • Then AI came, and I have read up on it as well. In short: My whole «advantage» and feeling that I had a «duty» suddenly changed. In 20 years time I will not be anywhere near as smart as AGI (the next evolution of AI), so what now? This has led me into a somewhat of a existential crisis. But also a sort of relief. The world will probably go under or AI will do every intellectual tasks for us, either way I don´t have to feel a responsibility of ignoring my own needs anymore.

Now I want to connect with my own humanity and create a better balance. To create good relationships seems to be the most important step for me right now. Although I have been self-sacrificing, I´m also extremely fortunate. I didn´t spend a lot of money when playing videogames all the time, I saved in Index fonds. So now I can afford to live in a big city only focusing on myself for a period of time. I´m also quite attractive both personality wise (been doing personal development for over a decade, including a short pick up-period) and looks, I´ve always gotten a lot of attention from women. But I have just ignored the attention for all of these years. So now I´m in this weird situation where I can attract women without issues, but I have a lot to learn when it comes to sexual escalation. I´ve never had a one night stand or a relationship. So even though it might seem immature to start with pick up at 34 for some, I feel that it does make sense for me with my life story and where I´m at. At least for a period of time.

I want to move to a relatively big city for 6-12 months starting around September next year probably. Here are some of the most important criterias, that I also put into Chat GPT to ask it´s opinion:

  • It´s important that it´s good conditions for daygame and nightgame, and that there´s a lot of interesting thing going on in the city and potential for social cirkles and activities and experiences.

  • Ideally people in their 20s and 30s speak English well enough for it to not be a problem, and I would like to learn more Spannish in addition ideally. Countries with English as main language I think might not be ideal since it´s my second language, I will probably sound less verbally intelligent than I really am and my witts and flow will be a little bit off in comparison to the «competation» there (although I speak fluently). I don´t know if this is the case, but that´s my thinking.

  • I would like to live somewhere where the climate is mild during the winter. Chat GPT suggested Budapest as a top 3 choise in the beginning, but I think I will exclude it on this condition (plus it´s meaningless to learn Hungarian language).

  • Money isn´t the most important factor, but value for money is also a condition to take into account.

  • I think it´s more interesting to be a place with a lot of nationalities, I´m interested to meet people from different places of the world. Tourists included.

  • I know some people go to poor countries in these situations. But I want this to be self-development. If it gets too easy in the sense that girls want you because you´re «gringo» and you don´t have to improve your flirting skills, this is not ideal. Latin countries also might be risky, as an example.

Chat GPT recommended these:

Madrid – Seems like a solid choise, I know others in similar situations as me has done their formative dating journey there.

Valencia – Maybe more of a «mid range» version, it´s cheaper but you might also get what you pay for?

Sevilla – Similar to Valencia in these terms

Lisboa – more than 3 times as small as Barcelona, but very international and cheaper I think. Could also be a solid choise potentially. I´m not as motivated to learn portugese as Spannish, but I could do the trade off if there´s other benefits here.

Buenos Aires – Very cheap because of inflation, can live as a king. Big city with a lot of things to experience. But low English skills, and more crime and less learning in terms of seduction maybe?

I´m leaning towards Madrid right now. It seems to have everything, although it´s not clear that the extra living costs are worth it. For a once in a lifetime experience I´ll gladly pay extra if it is the premium choise that´s likely going to be worth it.

Lastly, it´s happening in a year probably. I will do some daygame and nightgame now as well for the next year and date a little bit, and I have started to expand my social circle already. But I´m writing a master`s thesis now and need to focus primarily on that right now. I also live in a very small country and small city where it´s not as simple as to «do as many reps as possible» - It´s likely to back fire if I don´t do it in a smart way. My main focus now is to just date casually one at a time (or just one for the whole year, quality over quantity).

If you have read until this point, thank you for showing interest. If you have some thought or insights you want to share, I would highly appricate it.