What’s up guys… I’m in mediation now and dreading the settlement. Here’s my scenario: Married 19 years, she was a SAHM for most of our marriage. She went back to work 2 years ago and makes 1099 money under the table. She is capable of making more but says she loves her job and is ok making less. I worked 2 jobs and got my degree online in order to better my income for the family and allow her to stay at home with the kids.

We are attempting ‘nesting’ through mediation where we cycle through the home every week which allows the kids to remain in the family home and be close to friends and school.

I’ve ran my scenario through several online calculations and they vary wildly. I know what our ‘break even’ number is where we both share income and expenses and are left with the same amount each month. This seems the most fair since we are essentially splitting income and expenses 50/50.

She started drinking heavily 5 years ago and basically stopped doing all mom and wife obligations, I took over and handled all the house chores along with the finances. I should have left long ago but didn’t, that’s another topic.

Anyways, do you have any advice for me? We don’t have money for attorneys to fight and want to stay amicable but I can’t accept her receiving more money than me for her poor choices.

I was thinking of waiting until I know she’s drunk while being the parent at home ( it’s basically every night so I won’t wait long) and calling a wellness check on her with the cops which may or may not benefit me. That would be the nuclear option and result in mediation blowing up and crazy lawyer fees to fight it out.

What do you got for me?