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How long is too long in advance to arrange a date.

Ishazak

November 4, 2015

4 upvotes

/r/askTRP

TL:DR A comment in a post of mine from last week has been on my mind lately with regards to how far in advance is too far to arrange a date. 72hours max? what are you opinions on seeing a girl again before having had the time to meet for a drink etc?

Ive noticed that the majority of the time when i ask a girl if she fancies grabbing a drink with me on the weekend she will most of the time say yes to the drink but has plans already, for example tonight, asked a HB7/7.5 if she fancied checking out a bar with me on friday and shes visiting family, I grab her number anyway and shoot her a silly text to let her know that its me - awaiting a reply.

Now i know shes busy this friday/weekend and i have plans anyway so she said she would let me know once her rota has been given to her (is a waitress). Its likely that ill see her next week before having had our date. What is the way forward for me here in this situation?

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Post Information

Title	How long is too long in advance to arrange a date.
Author	Ishazak
Upvotes	4
Comments	3
Date	November 4, 2015 12:26 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3rfdkf/how_long_is_too_long_in_advance_to_arrange_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-long-is-too-long-in-advance-to-arrange-a-date.156055 https://theredarchive.com/post/156055

Comments

[–]JeffsRP0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ishazak[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for replying.

72 hours has generally worked for me however as i get busier with more and more things on my plate i have less and less time to meet another girl etc. hence its likely to be a week ahead due to both of our faults.

I guess if they're into me then they will make time when im free.

once ive got a message from her (confirming she didn't pull a fast one and put her number in wrong) ill use some callback humour and then ask her what her week next week is looking like. sounds good or nah?
In order to keep the attraction spike as high and as long as possible would you space the texts out over a few days? or try and get it sorted in a day and then leave it till the actual day?
Naturally if the exchange isnt great then ill soft next and re-initiate if i want to after 2 weeks. Same as above for a reinitation text? meet me X @ X, im having a few drinks with mates but would be cool to have some fun after etc?
its seeing her next tuesday anyway that is cause for a question, How should i be when im in the same class etc as her - ignore that i asked her out? Call her out on it? Not sure on this really. *

[–]JeffsRP1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

ask her what her week next week is looking like.

This makes you sound like you'll fit your schedule to her. That's bad.

Offer her a time, then offer a substitute time (this establishes that you are both high value, busy people) before asking this.

In order to keep the attraction spike as high and as long as possible would you space the texts out over a few days? or try and get it sorted in a day and then leave it till the actual day?

I'd do all the logistics on one day. Send a mid-week txt (callback humour would be good here, send a txt that doesn't require a response (aka. no questions and it needs to be a good txt by itself)) if it's +72 hours until the date.

I'd also send (if I'd scheduled 72+ hours out) a day-of or day-before txt to confirm the date that contains an extra detail that I'd left out of logistics originally. This gives your anti-flake txt the plausible deniability it needs and makes you portray the correct frame ("we both know this is on, I'm just making sure you have all the details").

"See you at 7, bring something warm to wear"

"See ya tomorrow, meet me outside the west entrance"

"Can we push it back to 7.30?" etc

Naturally if the exchange isnt great then ill soft next and re-initiate if i want to after 2 weeks. Same as above for a reinitation text? meet me X @ X, im having a few drinks with mates but would be cool to have some fun after etc?

I probably wouldn't use those words but you're on track. If you go radio silent for 2+ weeks, break it with a date invitation. If she's still not replying, delete her number so that if she does message you you'll ask "who's this" and also to help you not oneitis.

its seeing her next tuesday anyway that is cause for a question, How should i be when im in the same class etc as her - ignore that i asked her out? Call her out on it? Not sure on this really.

Don't bring it up unless she does. If she does bring it up, act aloof.

"I do this all the time. Dating girls in my classes is nothing special. You're nothing special unless you prove it." This is your frame.