My wife hasn’t been happy where we live for a couple of years. There aren’t work opportunities in her chosen field (academia and dance) and she won’t change work. She has been depressed.

We have a 5yo. She convinced me we need to move to another expensive city over the water and I went along with it all for months to the point where we have the house process far along on both sides. But the costs keep adding up. She has no job lined up the other side. It’s financial suicide for us in my view and I want to call it all off.

She is threatening if I do that she will divorce me, or she wants to separate and take our kid to her home country for a while and live at her parents.

What do i do? I have 3 options and all of them are bad. I’ve had anxiety all summer trying to play along and believe in the move but it’s insane at this point. And now she has been very aggressive that I kept her in this stupid place and had a kid and now she is depressed and I’m ’too scared to leave’.

Any advice on negotiating this out would be appreciated. It’s killed me and I am so, so sad. Unbelievably sad.