Hello, wanted to hear experiences from men out there who stuck it out for their children. I’m in a situation where financially my IT salary cannot cover two households and we have both agreed to see our partnership through until our kids (10 and 9 yo) turn 18 yo.

Eight years seems forever and there are days where it’s unbearable, however there are also more good days - seeing my kids grow up with both parents.

I’ve been encouraging her to take more hours or find a better paying job so in case we reach the point of no return, with dual earners the financial burden becomes more manageable.

Some background:

Very involved in the day to day care of our kids from school work, weekend trip, ensuring they go to bed on time - in short being actively present as a dad. As far as housework is concerned, not perfect by any means but I am doing housework daily (dishes, laundry, cleaning, and cooking).

Our relationship is completely transactional and revolves around ensuring that our kids grow up in a traditional family. I am completely fine with the nature of our relationship as long as I spend some quality time with my kids.

I’ve been lurking in this sub for a year now and generally the posts and lessons that I have been reading from men are a) they should have divorced earlier b) it has been a life changer

My biggest fear is not being able to see my children if we were to divorce at this very moment. We are currently living as an international family and if we were to separate, I will likely be sent back to the States. My wife is Korean.