How do I hold frame with my LTR while dealing with PTSD.

FasterActinTinactin · 2015-11-28T15:20:39+00:00

You don't have minor PTSD. If the symptoms that you are experiencing are true, then you have much more than "minor" PTSD. The sooner you accept that fact the better off you'll be.

You've got to accept what has happened / happening now.

Also, don't compare yourself to other veterans that may be worse off than you. That's not how this works. You need to deal with what YOU have and what YOU are experiencing. If YOU have depression, guilt, hopelessness, YOU need to at least talk with someone.

Don't be another statistic.

She may not understand exactly what you're going through, but it will help if you at least try and let her know something is up. If she get's turned off by this then you don't need to be in a LTR with her. Plate her, dump her, whatever.

Your mental health and state of mind is more important than some girl. You'll be 100x happier in the long run if you take care of yourself first. After all, that's what TRP is all about. Taking care of yourself first.

And please talk to SOMEONE about what's going on. It helps, I would know, I was in your position not to long ago. If you want PM me, i'm around.

redthrowawaypill · 2015-11-28T12:19:48+00:00

Women are not logical like us, so I wouldn't suggest opening up about your problems, also because of how much she likes you being her rock. I do suggest mentioning you have experienced things when you were deployed and you sometimes need some time alone

honeybadgersyo · 2015-11-28T15:09:10+00:00

Not telling her your problems with the military due to fear of looking weak will only make it a lot worse. Tell her so she understands

animalpoo · 2015-11-28T16:38:31+00:00

I used to get panic attacks, I know PTSD is 100x worse but there is some overlap.

With my ex I'd get a panic attack out of no where. I knew it was my brain playing tricks on me and that I had to get out of my head. I'd do this by naming and describing everything I can see in front of me to shift my attention away to the internal mess (takes about 5-10 mins). I'd still go white and show it on the outside.

I'd get the "are you ok ?" Question and I'd respond with "I think I might have food poisoning, I'm going to the bathroom", "I'm trying to work out if I lost a bet", or if it was a weak one "yeah I'm just thinking of how goofy you look"- and then force your attention physically describing her out in the open.

Don't handle this by yourself, make sure you're speaking with friends about this. You need to destigmatise PTSD. It's up to you if you tell your LTR, I'd try and avoid it personally but if she was to leave you because of it, you dodged a javelin !

PoisonBlaque · 2015-11-28T12:32:18+00:00

Are you getting any help with your ptsd, or just grinning and bearing it? That white knuckle comment says a lot. I used to cringe when my husband came up to rub my shoulders. He snuck up to do it so good once that I spun around and decked him. He's fine, and he's a Marine so I really didn't have to explain myself. He knew what was going on.
If you don't want to explain in full detail, maybe just tell her you need alone time. Make sure she knows where you are though or else the female mind instantly assumes you're having an affair. And it's a fair assumption for someone to make if they know nothing about ptsd! You have been distant, shrug off some physical contact, and now you want alone time..... Talking to someone else that has the same issues is a good start. Beating the living shit out of a punching bag is never a bag thing either. Better that than swing at your love.

Title	How do I hold frame with my LTR while dealing with PTSD.
Author	mortalcoil1
Upvotes	8
Comments	17
Date	November 28, 2015 11:37 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3ukrt6/how_do_i_hold_frame_with_my_ltr_while_dealing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-hold-frame-with-my-ltr-while-dealing-with.157103 https://theredarchive.com/post/157103

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