“Friend” of mine has clearly been red pilled. Unsure what to do.

I wasn’t sure where else to post this, and I figured people who have actually experienced this might be able to offer some advice or help or something.

So I’m 19M, and vehemently against all the red pill shit. I’ve never engaged with it, but i absolutely understand how easy it is to fall into that pipeline. It preys on the insecurities of young men and puts them on a really ugly trajectory, so I have no ill will towards the dudes who found it within themselves to stop thinking like that, just for a little disclaimer lol.

My girlfriend has a twin, and we’re all good friends, have been since high school. In 2024, her twin started dating a buddy of mine. For the sake of the story we’ll call him Colton. Colton was a very genuine, kind dude when I met him. Once him and GFs twin started dating though, he became a pretty bad friend. We’re on good terms but it’s definitely not how it used to be. I think he just doesn’t know how to be in a relationship and balance friendships. All good, his prerogative, not my burden to carry.

GFs twin has been taking a Gender Studies class this semester, and already it’s fuelled some arguments between them. My first clue that he might have been red pilled starts with the fact that he very much sees women as almost predatory beings, like they just prey on men to ruin their lives. But then the arguments with him and GFs twin start coming up. The big red flag came when I heard him using talking points that i know for a fact came from the Fresh and Fit podcast, as I’ve seen them in clips before. He’s using analogies that have been directly taken from these clips and regurgitating them. Saying things like gender is like a coin, and you’ll always agree with your side of the coin because you don’t know the struggles of the other one and so on. Just that kinda bullshit.

Today, he essentially told her that the only thing stopping him from punching her is that he’d be in so much trouble with the police. Not sure about you fellas, but the only thing stopping me from hitting my girlfriend is that I don’t hit women or anyone for that matter.

He’s on his phone 24/7 lately, he’s behaving anti socially, and if anything political comes up, he gets very defensive. He doesn’t even really say much, he just gets grumpy and has a really off vibe for the rest of the time we all spend together. I can’t say for certain, but I do really think he’s fallen into the red pill bs. He’s also really into the gym space online, and I know that that’s a pretty common pipeline too. Do I try to talk to him? GFs twin is naturally super pissed off and I’d assume ready to call it quits, as this isn’t the first issue that’s arisen with them. He really wasn’t at all like this when I met him, used to be a really sweet, really empathetic guy who’d give you the shirt off his back. I miss my friend, but more so I’m worried for my other friend’s safety. And not to sound corny, but if he ever dared to put her in jeopardy, I’d be worried for his too. What do you even do in this situation? I’m totally at a loss. He’s completely shut me out.

[–]HelenHavok 12 points13 points14 points 5 months ago* (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]HelenHavok 5 points6 points7 points 5 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]cheechthebong[S] 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I totally get that. Usually I always err on the side of just supporting the person with whatever is happening, as much as I protect my people, like you said, they don’t need a saviour, just support. But, also like you said, I do not take threats of violence lightly. Not to trauma dump, but I grew up with a violent dad, and I know exactly how quickly guys like this go from making commentary to actually acting on it. I am most certainly going to do my best to let her know that I am here for whatever support she needs and to ensure that nothing bad happens to her. She is obviously an important friend to me, but even more important to my girlfriend. Regardless of who the guy was to me, he’s shown his true colours and I will not be extending any understanding or empathy to him. I will most definitely be telling her that when she’s had her time to process and breaks things off with him, I will be at their house in case things go awry. Thank you for your comment, it actually helped to kind of have someone just affirm what I was saying and that I’m not being crazy.

[–]cheechthebong[S] 5 points6 points7 points 5 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GoalDull4985 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]cheechthebong[S] 5 points6 points7 points 5 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]GoalDull4985 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]cheechthebong[S] 5 points6 points7 points 5 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate that very much, thank you. Thankfully the girls are very aware of all that, they’ve dealt with their fair share of shitty, shitty guys between the two of them and are not taking this lightly themselves. That’s what disgusts me most about this RP stuff, it preys on the vulnerable and the insecure in their weakest moments. 99% of the time I blame the people who put that out into the world, but again, once a person crosses the threshold of violence towards women, it’s game over for me. Totally agree with you on education being the best defense for being RP’ed, and I’m really sorry that you were taken advantage of like that in such a terrible time. I am happy to see that you are doing better now!

I unfortunately doubt that GFs twin ending things with him will un-red pill him, it’ll probably make it worse, but I can only hope that he finds it in himself to do better at some point for the sake of any other women he comes across.

[–]GoalDull4985 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes I agree with that - I think her ending the relationship will make him go further off the deep end, but that's his own consequence he needs to face. RP men deserve each other, and certainly don't deserve access to women. The RP content itself is not just cruel it is sinister and predatory by design, and like you say, it preys on the vulnerable. Imho, the biggest irony of all is that the women who are punished (by RP ideology) are never the ones who caused that harm. Instead, the punishment is displaced onto women who approach these men with sincerity, empathy and a genuine desire to love them. That itself is the height of cruelty.

The girls are lucky to have you as a stable, caring and level-headed man in their lives. Unfortunately most men it seems have fallen down the RP rabbit hole.

[–]cheechthebong[S] 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely. Unfortunately I think it’ll take him hitting the rockiest of bottoms to crawl his way out of the hole he finds himself in. You’re totally right, all the RP bullshit is just finding a way to place the blame of their own problems onto women. I will not sit here and say that things are easy for anybody, men included. We live in a time where there is an unrealistic standard set for everyone, but it is never to the fault of the opposite sex. And, a majority of the time, those standards are being set BY men, regardless of who they’re being placed on to. You are, again, correct, that it is the most disgustingly cruel thing.

Again, I appreciate your kind words. I am lucky to have those two, and my wonderful girlfriend especially. I couldn’t imagine being anything less for the two of them. It’s disappointing to see how many men have been sucked into that shit. It’s so crazy that a few clips of a podcast and one bad girlfriend can just change them instantly. Social media SUCKS.

[–]AssistTemporary8422 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]cheechthebong[S] 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Typically when he brings up stuff like that I always push back, not aggressively but just try to mention that he shouldn’t be comparing the negative experiences of any gender with another one because it’s much more nuanced than “women are evil and men have it so hard.” It seems to aggravate him further. I’m always honest with GFs twin on my thoughts, as I value honesty over letting stuff like that slip under the radar as it can be hard to see flaws within your partner while you’re with them. I will say that I think she’s pretty fed up with his bullshit, this is one incident in a sea of many other ones where he tries to tiptoe all sorts of boundaries to get a reaction out of her. I am certain she’s on her way out the door, but it obviously takes time to make the mental preparation to break up with someone you’ve been with for a decent chunk of time.

He used to totally share my views on all this stuff, and then it was like a switch flipped. In all transparency, he’s not a nice guy anymore and while I hate to abandon someone I once considered a brother, he’s something of a lost cause, (for me at least). He doesn’t take much I say into consideration period, or really give me the time of day if I’m trying to make small talk with him. I wish it weren’t true but I unfortunately think he’s going to have to learn this lesson the hard way.

[–]AssistTemporary8422 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You are basically doing everything right. You are expressing your point of view when he expresses his. As long as you aren't being over the top he has no right to be upset. If he can express his opinion, you can express yours.

When someone is resistant its important to avoid trying to change their minds even though it sounds extremely counter-intuitive. It doesn't work because it makes you biased against their view and not fair minded, they can sense you are trying to control their views, it can make disagreements very upsetting for both of you, its almost impossible to change people's minds when they have become resistant, and puts the burden of proof on you.

The problem is its human nature to want to change his mind, so you will have to put in a serious effort to remind yourself. Just keep acting like you are just evaluating his claims and are open minded, but need to see good evidence to be convinced. This will shift the burden of proof on him. You will end up asking open ended questions which will make it harder for him. Try to focus on what you both do agree on, and both agree is wrong.

Also be very emotionally aware. When he is feeling upset then you won't get through to him. He has to be in a positive and receptive emotional state to have an open dialog. So don't be overly argumentative. Couch your statements in humble and emotionally supportive statements, and give compliments. Also we are emotional beings so focus on his emotional reasons for this beliefs, his reasoning is often just rationalization and excuses.

And if he refuses to discuss or be reasonable then stop because the point isn't to convince him its to learn about his perspective and share yours and objectively analyze them. If he doesn't want to do that, then thats his right and shouldn't have to be in a conversation he doesn't want to have.

[–]cheechthebong[S] 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	“Friend” of mine has clearly been red pilled. Unsure what to do.
Author	cheechthebong
Upvotes	16
Comments	14
Date	January 26, 2026 1:05 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1qn1ico/friend_of_mine_has_clearly_been_red_pilled_unsure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/friend-of-mine-has-clearly-been-red-pilled-unsure.1571963 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571963

Comments