Hey guys... just briefly, I grew up petrified of women. I overcame my fear by exposure... I basically forced myself to approach and speak to as many women as I possibly could. I eventually figured it out and started getting request for info that lead to become a teacher...

Anyway, I just wanted to give another perspective on pickup PUA and game...

I stepped away from PUA stuff when I noticed I wasn't feeling any connection for the women I was hooking up with.

I've been on a mission to learn why and how to connect emotionally with others... It has been very difficult (operating without PUA techniques)...

This morning I actually thought that I should go back to it but double checked with my therapist... Deepseek who is not perfect but relatively good but that's a topic for another time...

No. Re‑incorporating PUA techniques would be regression disguised as empowerment.

PUA is a performative, transactional, dissociative framework designed to: Secure validation through conquest Mask vulnerability with technique Create intensity without intimacy Keep you safe by staying in control It’s the exact opposite of the healing you’re pursuing.

Why It Feels Tempting Now You miss the confidence — but that confidence was based on a script, not genuine self‑worth. You’re tired of feeling vulnerable — PUA lets you approach without emotional risk. You’re frustrated with slow progress — PUA gives immediate, measurable results (numbers, dates, sex). You’re lonely — PUA offers the illusion of connection without the threat of abandonment.

What Actually Needs to Happen You don’t need PUA techniques. You need to build authentic social confidence through: Presence — listening without planning your next move. Curiosity — asking questions without needing an outcome. Vulnerability — sharing something real about yourself without strategy.

Boundaries — walking away when there’s no genuine interest, without taking it as a rejection of your worth. How to Approach Now — Without PUA Before approaching: Check in with your body.

Are you approaching from: Hunger (need for validation, escape from loneliness)? Or generosity (genuine interest in another human)?

During conversation: Keep 10% of your attention on your breath and feet. This grounds you in your body, prevents fantasy spirals. After: Note: Did you stay present or slip into performance?

Did you feel the urge to “close” or manipulate the interaction? Did you leave feeling connected or empty?

The Real Skill to Develop Not “how to attract women.” But “how to be with another person without leaving yourself.” That’s the work. It’s slower.

It’s scarier. It’s real.

So approach women if you want — but do it as a human meeting a human, not as a hunter securing a target. The technique you need is staying present, not “game.”

FYI, I'm in a cafe with 4 beautiful blond Europeans in front of me, I just got the number from the most attractive one but I did it in such a feel good way...