My fiancé looked up pictures of Megan Fox this morning, and he also had a few edits of very attractive women in his liked videos on TikTok. I know this is not a heinous crime and I don't have a problem with him finding other women attractive, but it does take a bit of a hit to my self esteem when I see that he's engaging with content like that.
I feel less attractive to him now and have a hard time trusting he means it when he says I'm beautiful. I find myself comparing myself to Megan Fox and Sabrina Carpenter and other beautiful and sexually provocative women that I can't compete with. What can I do to still be confident and trust that he thinks I'm beautiful?
TLDR: How do I trust that my fiancé thinks I'm beautiful/finds me attractive when he looks at media of objectively hot women?
EDIT: we’ve talked about this and he agrees that it’s bad and he definitely feels ashamed and embarrassed. I was very gentle and understanding when talking with him about it. He feels terrible about it and admits it’s a struggle for him.
He would never ever say to me that he thinks another woman is hot, he only did today because I found it and was asking him about it.
We’re getting married in June and we’ve both made the mutual decision to wait until marriage to have sex, so I was very understanding and know that it’s hard for him and he’s struggling. He was open and honest with me and is actively wanting to take steps to move away from this kind of content.
I told him I’m proud of him and I understand that it’s not an easy thing to avoid, but that he is in control of how he interacts with the content and he agreed to let me help hold him accountable. I let him know that I’m not gonna get mad if he slips up sometimes and falls to temptation as long as he doesn’t stop caring about it, is open and honest with me, and is taking actionable steps to work on it.
I didn’t include this in the original post because I tried to post this on the marriage subreddit and everyone there was saying I’m overreacting and triggered and that it shouldn’t matter to me/I shouldn’t get married if I have an issue with this, especially if he’s not interacting with other women or looking at women he personally knows.
My fiancé and I both share the same perspective on this and so I’m not looking for those kinds of judgemental responses, just some practical advice.
[–]NationalMouse 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wife_and_MamaEndorsed Contributor [score hidden] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TheFeminineFrame2 Stars [score hidden] (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link