Why would a girl gives you IOIs when she has a boyfriend and you have seen them together?

OmLaLa · 2015-12-09T18:31:59+00:00

There is a girl that gives me IOIs.

What kind of IOIs?

She even started talking to me.

gasp

I already saw her with a guy a couple of times. I had the feeling they are dating.

Do you know for sure?

Her profile picture was a picture of the guy in question and her hugging.

gasps again They were... hugging? They must be dating!

Hugging someone in a profile picture doesn't mean diddly squat. Lots of girls are hugging guys on their Tinder profile.

I guessed I wasn't wrong as the guy had the same picture.

And betas do it for peer validation.

Matching profile pictures is about as beta as they come. You're basically in competition with her teddybear.

What does she expect out of this game?

It's not a game, it's hypergamy. Get in there and at the very least try.

Tom_The_Human · 2015-12-09T19:17:15+00:00

A woman who gives you IOIs whilst she's in a relationship is either a flirt or a whore.

That being said, nothing that you have said gives me the impression that this guy's anything more than an orbiter (see /u/OmLaLa's comment).

Finally, a word of advice: like many people at TRP, I believe that banging girls with boyfriends is morally fine, but if you ever do go down that route make sure you protect yourself. If you two get found out your life can get ruined real quick. Her beta hubby could be a psycho or you could end up with a false rape accusation faster than you can say "record all sexual encounters."

HS-Thompson · 2015-12-09T20:05:51+00:00

Women give indications of interest when they are interested.

In other news water is wet and happy cat is happy.

The real question you are asking is why would a woman be interested in one guy when she already dates another guy. Which, of course, is a mildly stupid question if you understand even basic rudimentary things about how the world works.

sodainthewatercup6 · 2015-12-09T19:18:16+00:00

Whether or not she was flirting with you, the short answer is validation/attention.

Long answer: Women in a relationship are almost never penalized for flirting. They are usually allowed to pivot as they please to line up their next partner. Whether or not she chooses you, it still places you as one of her options when and if that time ever comes. What I'm describing is an orbiter. Not necessarily the provider orbiter that we usually talk about, but the guy who is around in her social circle that she may or may not keep tabs on. The backup plan.

You can play the game and wait in line like the others she talks to, or pay her no attention and set yourself above the rest... because you're better.

Title	Why would a girl gives you IOIs when she has a boyfriend and you have seen them together?
Author	seekingredstrength
Upvotes	8
Comments	17
Date	December 9, 2015 6:09 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3w3q77/why_would_a_girl_gives_you_iois_when_she_has_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-would-a-girl-gives-you-iois-when-she-has-a.157627 https://theredarchive.com/post/157627

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