Help me decide

Wife_and_Mama · 2026-03-25T22:10:57+00:00

Are these the only two men on earth? Guy 1 seems like a good match. Guy 2 seems perfectly nice and like he deserves someone who talks about him the way you talk about Guy 1. That's true regardless of what happens with Guy 1. No one wants to be the silver medal.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2026-03-25T21:42:40+00:00

So out of curiosity, if Guy 1 wasn't in the picture at all (i.e. never met him) would you be perfectly happy with Guy 2?

I am not suggesting one over the other, but if the "negatives" of Guy 2 are only in relation to Guy 1, then we have learned, once again, that comparison is the thief of joy.

Dionne005 · 2026-03-25T21:45:57+00:00

You should keep dating other people and continue to date them too.

Open_Interaction_677 · 2026-03-25T22:43:59+00:00

If you are in any doubt I suggest keeping things casual with both until you feel more sure.

milk_and_coins · 2026-03-25T22:54:19+00:00

come out as poly

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2026-03-25T22:24:13+00:00

Why are you dating a second person after dating the first for 5 months? 5 months into dating you’re just cheating at that point aren’t you?

AutoModerator · 2026-03-25T21:34:23+00:00

Title: Help me decide

Author Comfortable-Match-78

Full text: I (25F) now stuck between choosing between two great guys. I grew up in a conservative christian household therefore i’m dating to marry.

Guy 1: met on christian dating app, clicked instantly, has a lot of charisma and we are best friends. He has a decent job. I also find him attractive. However, we have no mutual friends/family. What’s been holding me back from him is that he is currently in an unfortunate situation where his visa to stay in the country is expiring and he has applied for a new visa which is pending approval.

We have been going on dates on and off for about 5 months

Guy 2: friend of the family, christian, very respectful, kind, also has stable job. No visa issues. We have had three dates But i find conversations with him a little less enjoyable. I would like to see him more to see whether we can connect a bit better but i also don’t want to lead either of them on. I am a little less attracted to him but will this grow with time?

Do i follow my heart with guy 1 and hope he sorts his visa out or continue dating both hoping i build more of a connection with guy 2

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Initiative_N7 · 2026-03-25T23:23:44+00:00

So, this is just a comment really. I think your last sentence defined your preference. So, I don't know anything about the two guys, their lives or personalities, just adding this caveat.

Several times I've been that No. 2 guy, the runner up so to speak. However, I became aware that this was the case in these situations (my intuition and instincts are fairly good at picking up on this, and I was able to confirm it), thus I found myself in the position where I needed to decide if I was prepared to take the risk of being her 2nd choice, which I didn't and I wouldn't do.

For me personally, being someone who's very self aware and more emotionally sensitive, I found it to be so hurtful to be chosen only because of my "stability" and for my ability to be "a provider" and it hurt so much that I wasn't chosen for who I am, for me as a person. So, when it happened, I lost the trust very quickly, and then what follows is an emotional shutdown for internal protection. So, I think you should choose who you really want to be with and let the other guy go back into the pool. Just my thoughts.

Title	Help me decide
Author	Comfortable-Match-78
Upvotes	4
Comments	14
Date	March 25, 2026 9:34 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1s3o4an/help_me_decide/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/help-me-decide.1576405 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576405

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