I went to tend to my neglected tomato plants the other day and had an epiphany of sorts. To put it in perspective, I am 2 months out from the final decree after a 21 year marriage and after cohabitatin until 3 weeks ago when she was able to move into her new home....living hell I'd call it. I realized that I had felt about the same exact way exactly a year ago when I was still married...I didn't have joy tending my tomatoes then even though I was married and I have no joy now after being divorced. What I realized is that I wasn't happily married the year before, I was just married. This though actually made me realize how miserable I was in my marriage but I had no way of seeing it. I am slowly gaining/finding joy back in my life but as many others have stated in this sub before it will be a long haul after 21 years of marriage. I just wish I had realized how misearble I was and done something about it before it was too late but....in hind sight I may have felt this way for several years but just plugged along pretending everything was okay??? In any case good luck to all of you going through this shit process called divorce. Wouldn't wish it upon...never mind would absolutely wish it upon my worst enemy...LOL. It is an absolute emotional roller coaster....a bad day followed by an okay day followed by an absolute shit day floowed by a great day followed by....you get the point. God bless!!!