A lesson from Friday night: your game should be constantly evolving. Never be satisfied with the 'technique' that works for you. Treat game like you treat any other skill or activity you take up: strive for mastery.

Now, what's the easiest way to evolve your game? The same way the Evolution (capital E) of everything works: Performance, Feedback, Revision.

For example: based on my prior experiences, I have a theory of what works, so I go to a venue and test my theory. My performance results in one of two outcomes: success or failure. I receive feedback on my performance in terms of the desired attention, or running for the hills. Based on the feedback I receive, I revise my performance post-hoc, integrate the behaviours that worked, and jettison the ones that don't. Think of every time you go out specifically for game as a test of an evolutionary theory. You have a specimen, yourself. You have a set of traits you wish to prove: your game. You perform your game, and the results of that determine whether the traits (game) get repeated (passed on) in subsequent encounters. If you discover through observation or blind luck something new that works, you might try to integrate that into your game.

I'm seriously out of practice in my game, but every week gets better. The first week I had zero luck even starting a conversation or the approach. I performed what I thought works for me, and got undesired feedback - every attempt went sideways because I was really self-conscious. I punched a hole in my wall when I got home out of frustration and envy at my friend's successes. The next week went better - I had revised my approach. I still didn't have much luck, but it was less painful because I was less self-conscious - it couldn't possibly go as badly as it went the week before. I learned that frustration is useless.

This Friday I went to a venue with a friend where everything there is a conversation-starter. And my tutelage began. You see, I'd been going for an approach of like, "hi, how's it going." Very serious. While anything is better than nothing, based on my feedback, that's a low-odds method. Still higher than nothing though. He on the other hand would look at something written on the wall, turn to any woman near us and be all, "So you read Mandarin? What's this say?" Conversation started. Or we'd see a skeleton of a dinosaur, he'd turn to a woman near us: "Jeez, he's a big bugger... what would you do if you turned a corner and ran into him?" Effortless, and for shits and giggles.

So I decided to revise my game based on his observed performance. I could integrate his methods into mine. So I'd be in an area with a giant gem or something, turn to a woman near me, and be, "You think that would bring out my eyes? How about on a chain?" And they'd laugh and continue the conversation, or not, not as smooth as I'd like, but it was better than my previous methods, and felt more natural. I was still too in ego-protection mode and even though I was unable to keep the conversation going much longer, I got farther with that performance than with my previous one. I'd get some positive feedback rather than an auto-reject. I revised my performance based on observed and first-hand feedback, and I think I'll remember this.

Then class went in session and he dropped the bomb. We were standing near a geode or something sparkly, and he was talking to a pretty blonde. I forget what exactly prompted it, but he said something like, "... It's great, nice venue, beautiful surroundings, and beautiful company." He's a smooth mah-fukkah. And you could see her physically reel back in shock, like she'd never heard that before. "You silver-tongued devil, you!" I complimented. Her entire demeanour changed and they ended up chatting for the next 20 minutes while I am-scrayed. While analyzing this post-hoc, I put something together: I've been approaching with an air of protecting my ego and like I would approach work or an interaction with men: logical and trying to gauge where we each fell in the male hierarchy. It's not fun being all business, and I don't enjoy it, but it was my only frame.

Well, duh! Of course this doesn't work with women, because they're far more emotionally driven then we are! People give me a compliment and I assume they want something - it puts me on my guard. I always assumed women treated it the same. I thought a line like that was corny and cheesy, but I forgot this gets a woman's emotions going. A compliment, sincerely given and properly delivered (that's the crucial bit), gave results that weeks of my efforts had failed to achieve. Now I need to revise my performance to include this behavior. I don't want to be obsequious about it, but neither do I want to forget it.

Next week I'll evolve my game further based on previous feeback: conversational approaches work better, do it for fun, I definitely need to work on my body language and subtle cues, but try compliments as well. I'll modify my performance next week, analyze the feedback, then revise as necessary.

EVOLUTION!