Completely shut off socially.

PragmaticRedTruth · 2016-02-09T18:19:28+00:00

Stop worrying about what you don't have and start worrying about what you do have. Worry about the things you can work to change.

You spoke a lot about how you do not regret your decisions, yet your lack of self awareness is the reason why you don't notice you do. It is okay to regret these decisions, as long as you realize directly after the things you need to change.

And what this is; a focus on your own life. You're seeking out happiness from others without first looking at yourself and what things are missing. You need to become okay with what you have right now, and pick small attainable goals going forward.

In other words, search for an interview, learn a new skill that costs no money, approach men in hopes to make friends... And make small attainable goals each week. Stop wishing for what you don't have, and become okay with what you do.

Happiness comes from within, not from these pinnacles. It is the search and pursuit of pinnacles that gives you the happiness. It is exactly why you were able to dismiss it so easily when you were younger. Enjoy the moment and don't become hyper focused on the things you do not have. Become okay with the way things are and don't let your thoughts defeat you; stop fighting yourself. It will make attaining friends that much easier.

ispeaknot · 2016-02-09T21:56:33+00:00

study is a hobby that requires little money.

pick a subject that interests you and study the intellectual side of it

say you like auto mechanics - right there you can study mechanics, the history of mechanics, the effects that cars have on society, etc etc from each of these you can branch off to other studies -like from the history of how mechanics developed into comparing how different cultures interdependently reached their own levels

you might think reading is boring BUT you need to think of reading as lifting for your brain

youcantdenythat · 2016-02-09T18:26:17+00:00

There are hobbies that don't require much money. Art, geocaching, etc. Get creative.

As for work, go to the places you apply, in person, and ask to speak to a manager about any open positions they may have. If they say they haven't reached a decision yet, keep going back there every 3 days or so and ask again.

Check out local events and activities. Do they have any meetup.com groups there? It's more difficult to find friends now but your main focus should be on finding employment.

MeatCurtainRod · 2016-02-09T18:56:31+00:00

There is this old saying:

Knowledge is not enough - you must apply. Willing is not enough - you must do.

You just spent 4 paragraphs saying "how do I start because the world is against me". Well, for beginners, just get out there and start doing things, because the world ISN'T against you. You are so full of fear and excuses that you always rationalize NOT doing things. Well stop that, and start changing your mindset so that you CAN do things. It does not matter if you fail. Failing is a good thing.

alphakari · 2016-02-09T19:35:16+00:00

if you can't work, and you don't have money for hobbies, try volunteering. it builds your resume, and you'll meet new people if you get around. don't go with the frame of "i'm gonna make friends!!!!" though. go with the intention of being a dependable person, and just be sociable in the way a dependable person is as you do it.

there are probably other stuff too, but don't think of things as "i need to fix this." nothing gets fixed. you just make things better slowly until you stop really feeling the sense that something gets fixed.

Title	Completely shut off socially.
Author	Narcopath
Upvotes	9
Comments	8
Date	February 9, 2016 6:00 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/44xxo2/completely_shut_off_socially/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/completely-shut-off-socially.160530 https://theredarchive.com/post/160530

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