Is there a difference between a good guy and a nice guy?

DemonConsulting · 2016-02-18T10:44:19+00:00

Good Guy: Basically your stereotypical comic book superhero - think Captain America

Has strong morals, likes to help people, sees it as his responsibility to do good in the world (proportional to his power - think spiderman) and enjoys it - has the courage to stand up for his ideals even if it goes against the mainstream because standing up against an unjust/ immoral system is the right thing to do. He is confident in his beliefs, ideals and morals, is respectful, friendly, polite and helpful without wanting anything in return but has no problem to be firm and fight for what he believes in, making enemies on the way and potentially even being disliked by many people.

Nice Guy (in internet-speak):

Wants to please people. Tries to be nice to everyone in hopes of being liked - will often go beyond his own ability and what he feel comfortable with in order to make other people happy. Is scared of offending anyone and will avoid any conflict from fear of being disliked or having to fight - won't stand up for himself but rather pretend he's happy with whatever the other person wants. Often ends up being used, walked over - is then frustrated and angry if he doesn't get the results/rewards he was hoping for and thinks, he deserves, even thought he was so nice and often lashes out from the bottled up frustration (had he stood up for himself, made his wishes and boundaries clear, none of this would have happened) Very often the nice guy is then perceived as being deceptive since he wasn't nice because he's a nice, friendly person (altruistic like the good guy) but because he was expecting a reward (which he didn't communicate) - He is desperate for love, approval and validation from others, very often insecure and can even be a selfish and deceptive person, just putting up a nice facade because he thinks, he has to, if he wants social success.

One key difference is the position, the Nice Guy and the Good Guy act from. The Good Guy acts from a position of power. He is confident, sees his own ability to help people/ be friendly/ make them happy and then decides to use it, just because it's the right thing to do and he likes making the world a better place. The Nice Guy on the other hand, acts from a position of weakness and scarcity. He is desperate for other peoples approval, wants to be liked and fit in - in this case, the outcome of being liked, making friends or having a relationship is what motivates him - not the act of being nice and helping people. If he doesn't reach his goal, the means seem like a waste of time and resources to him and he's disappointed, sometimes mad at the ungrateful people not rewarding his niceness.

Continuing the comic book narrative, the disappointed nice guy can be what gives birth to the villain (think Movie-Loki in Thor and Avengers) - All he wanted was XYZ (a girl / success/ the throne...) - he tried to get that by being nice/ working hard (emulating the good guy) but it didn't work so he'll take it by force/manipulation instead. To him, the end justifies the means - being nice/doing the right thing was a means to getting what he wanted (not a rewarding moral obligation in itself like it is for the good guy), it didn't work so he'll be evil instead and also get his revenge on the people who didn't reward his efforts before. Then in the end, the good guy still beats him.

SoRedSuchAlpha · 2016-02-18T09:45:00+00:00

The word "nice" originally meant "trivial or unimportant" and has come to mean "pleasant and inoffensive." Nice people are not necessarily good people. They can be cowardly, selfish, and petty, or outright evil with a nice veneer.

Good people have morals and the courage to act on them. Good people are not necessarily nice people. Martin Luther King, for example, was not what you'd call inoffensive.

randomperson123321 · 2016-02-18T12:16:55+00:00

A nice guy is one who is eager to please others, usually at his expense. He could be a good guy or a bad guy who just has (or expects) something to gain.

A good guy is one who has a sense of justice and when he sees wrong, he goes (even out of his way sometimes) to make it right. This includes stepping on others in order to do so (those are usually the wrongdoers).

The terms are completely unrelated. You can be both, none or just one of the two. It's just that many nice guys believe themselves to be good guys, even if they are not, thus creating the misunderstanding.

dandar4600 · 2016-02-18T12:15:39+00:00

Read no more mr nice guy. It's pretty well fleshed out in that book. What it boils down to is, nice guys are basically liars.

Title	Is there a difference between a good guy and a nice guy?
Author	brav0sierr4
Upvotes	0
Comments	7
Date	February 18, 2016 9:23 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/46dypn/is_there_a_difference_between_a_good_guy_and_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-there-a-difference-between-a-good-guy-and-a.160926 https://theredarchive.com/post/160926

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