Need some advice re: enforcing visitation

Ransom_Stoddard · 2014-08-29T20:27:53+00:00

Your only recourse is to reason with her, threaten her with court sanction or motion the court when she violates the order, but that may be a double edged sword if she takes you back to court to attempt to get primary custody.

If it were me and I was not ordered to pay child support and still got to be with the kids more than the normal every other weekend, I wouldn't rock the boat.

You got a better deal than probably 90% of Dads right now.

MRSPArchiver · 2014-08-29T19:33:52+00:00

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chavelah · 2014-08-30T01:05:35+00:00

Before you do anything, really sit down and think about what arrangement minimizes the pain FOR YOUR DAUGHTER. How old is she? Are your homes close to each other? What will the effects of various arrangements be on her schooling, social life, and connections with other relatives?

If she's quite young and you live close to her mom, then week-on week-off might work well. If she's in school and you live in another district, that's probably not feasible, and weekends and summers with you plus a weekly dinner would probably cause her less stress. She's priority #1, not the calendar or the court order or parental preference.

blueoak9 · 2014-08-29T21:45:36+00:00

'but I expect a fight, and I'm nervous, to say the least. "

I understand how you'd be nervous, but you may not necessarily get that fight. After all if she asked her attorney to set the custody up that way to reduce your child support, that doesn't sound very antagonistic.

I had a 4 day/3 day split, and it worked fine, and in fact it was that or a 3 day/4 day split, which still wouldn't have been equal either. Unless there is some issue with your ex-wife's parenting, this is arrangement is going to let you parent your daughter pretty equally.

throwaway7145 · 2014-08-29T21:47:25+00:00

I suggest you text her your suggestion for 50/50, instead of waiting for her suggestion and then fighting about it. That will make it clear to her up front that you expect the order to be followed.

DougDante · 2014-08-30T02:06:19+00:00

I'm not a lawyer and this is not legal advice.

Ask your attorney.

Courts will generally only enforce custody agreements that they ordered. This means that the order must say 'exchange is 3:00pm on this day' blah blah.

If I were you I would ask for supervised pick up and drop off. The federal government pays for this service to be setup to deal with abusive parents like the one you're dealing with now. There will be a fee. Ask that the other party which is violating the court order pay it.

Best of luck!

cellardoor3 · 2014-08-30T06:20:01+00:00

Ok everyone, I posted this and then got called into work. But as a sort of general reply, thank you.

Also, I understand that this is a better deal than most fathers get, however I do have concerns about my ex's parenting (emotional problems, puts herself before our daughter, etc.), and I want to minimize the time our daughter has to spend in that environment. I'm going to take everything everyone said into consideration and hope for the best. I'm mostly afraid of antagonizing her, but I guess it can't be helped.

Title	Need some advice re: enforcing visitation
Author	cellardoor3
Upvotes	8
Comments	17
Date	August 29, 2014 7:33 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/2ey1po/need-some-advice-re-enforcing-visitation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/need-some-advice-re-enforcing-visitation.1620568 https://theredarchive.com/post/1620568

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