HVM who is struggling?

penelopekitty · 2020-09-27T10:32:19+00:00

You completely misunderstand what is meant by HVM. It has nothing to do with making a lot of money or not having health issues. What makes a man HV is how he conducts himself, through good times and bad and how he treats his partner and other people in his life.

There is no guarantee in relationships. Husbands leave wives at an exponentially higher rate than the opposite scenario when serious illness is involved. Husbands very often cheat when their wives are pregnant.

If both of you are truly HV the chances of what you fear happening are very low.

Also, you are in luck. There are many, many HVW out there. It will be easy for you to find one. The challenge for most men is to become and remain a HVM. However, that is completely within your control, so that is good news for you.

Summerisle7 · 2020-09-27T15:33:16+00:00

Why is marriage a difficult topic for you? That’s pretty LV right there. Most HVW will not put up with being strung along forever as a forever girlfriend.

As to your question: up to a certain point, bad luck or setbacks do not make someone low value. How you overcome these setbacks is what matters. Hint: it is not any woman’s job to date you or stick by you if it’s to the point where you are adding nothing to her life.

Sea_Soil · 2020-09-27T17:04:26+00:00

In addition to the fantastic answers you've already received, I think you should work on your thoughts about marriage, find a therapist to work through whatever trauma is causing it to be a difficult topic for you.

No HVW deserves to be strung along as a forever girlfriend by someone who can hardly even discuss marriage. You can't have a healthy relationship if you can't trust your SO.

2020-10-03T01:54:36+00:00

I get your fear and I think it’s a common fear a lot of men have. Two things I see right away:

Men believe they deserve unconditional love from a woman. They don’t. Nobody does. I’m pretty sure that’s why there are so many men out there who treat their wives like crap and are shocked when they leave. Don’t fall into that trap.

But these fears, like many of men’s fears, are projections. Studies have shown many times over that men are more likely to cheat (although nowadays not by much more) than women. Men are 6x more likely to leave their wives if they have a medical problem or gets sick than women leaving their husband. And men are the ones more likely to “upgrade” their spouse if their wives help them go from loser to success. Historically, women have built men up and supported them while their accomplishments and contributions have been diminished or stolen or erased by men.

I think a lot of this is projection. I suspect these are things you would do if you were married. I would take a deep look at yourself and try to figure out what’s going on because your fears are definitely possible but way more likely to happen in the reverse. This is the equivalent to worrying that a woman might rape you and that’s why you don’t go on any dates.

As long as you are HV and the woman is HV then none of these things will come remotely close.

Title	HVM who is struggling?
Author	eandomhehd
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	September 25, 2020 5:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askfds/comments/izo61c/hvm-who-is-struggling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/hvm-who-is-struggling.1629052 https://theredarchive.com/post/1629052

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