While I haven’t decided to cold turkey quit OLD, it’s coming to a halt for me. The reasons for this are 1) IMO it’s actually much easier and more efficient to meet people in person and 2) the challenges of dating strategically during the pandemic are seeming pretty insurmountable. I think I’ll just wait until the end of summer when life should be somewhat back to normal. Actually, another reason is that I think I need to do some introspection before trying to date again.

There were 3 men I was messaging before I decided to step away from it. I told 2 that I was going to be taking a break. One sent me a long paragraph and several shorter texts following that basically trying to persuade me to still meet up with him. The other indicated that he wanted me to keep texting him despite what I told him.

I haven’t responded to either. Frankly, I lack the energy. I’ve messaged with dozens of men who never wanted to see me in person, who never wanted to do a video/phone call, who nagged me for Snapchat selfies, and who seemed to be stringing me along saying they’re open to a relationship but want to start out as friends. Interestingly, being friends with them seems to require a lot of pursuing on my part judging by their lack of effort in mere friendship. One guy who was looking for a “friend” invited me to Netflix and chill with him at his home. I’m doubtful the results would be different with any of these 3 new men.

There’s one last guy I haven’t broken the news to yet because I barely had any rapport with him and I prefer not to ghost unless I have a safety concern. Plus, maybe when I’m ready to date again I’ll reconnect with one of them.

I want a relationship, but at this point I kind of want someone to just pave the way. Cut to the chase. Instead of exchanging small talk in text after text, call me on the phone. Ask me out. I had thought I needed to continue texting and texting to get to the stage where they’d ask me out. My tolerance for texting has steadily waned to where now I drop off after a single day of it. Sometimes if I have an ounce of extra energy and I’m feeling more hopeful, I’ll send a reply a couple days later.

Do you think my expectation that men cut to the chase in this way within maybe 8 messages back and forth is unrealistic? I can just hear society, particularly men, pronouncing me a lazy hypocrite for wanting to put in very minimal work. The thing is, I’d probably put in more if I wasn’t so burned out from the sea of clowns and liars on dating apps.