I (30F) with (34M) would like some advice. We have been together for over 5 years. He has been very kind, sweet and we connect well. He has had issues however with his anger. When he feels like I hurt him, he calls me names likes "bitch" and "dumb". I told him that this hurts my feelings and have made it clear I do not want to be called that. He tells me he does it on purpose and it is my fault he calls me names. I am having issues with this type of mindset. I have told him I will work on not hurting him, he feels like I disrespect him often by apparently making faces or being "snarky" after getting into hours long debates with him about women (red pill videos). He said he will not stop calling me names until I work on my issues and that I cause the majority of the problems in our relationship. He often yells at me which I told him bothers me, he told me that me crying and shutting down bothers him, so that is how he justifies it. One day I was crying after an argument and he dragged me to the mirror and told me to look at myself and that I was being a baby. He says I have to ask before I am able to wear pants as he only wants me to wear skirts. He often tells me that I was not ready to be a wife when me met me but that he helped me become one.

Now I am feeling guilty that I have put some space between us. He says that I am being immature, and that I am not trying hard enough to make the relationship work. That I should be working on my issues and that he will work on his once I do mine. That he wants a woman to care about his feelings instead of being one sided like he says most marriages are.

I am very confused, hurt and unsure of what to do. I do love him and we have been together for a long time. It is not all bad moments but I can't help but feel small and I don't know if I'm being too sensitive or unreasonable.