So here it goes...

My wife says we are separated and that she wants a divorce. She hasn't filed but has told me this is what she wants. I on the other hand do not want this and would do anything for reconciliation. For context, we have been together for 10 years, married for 6 and have a 5 year old child.

To be fair to her this did not come as the biggest surprise. We have had issues for an extended period of time and haven't resolved them. There has been a lack of meaningful communication on my part. Affection and intimacy has also significantly reduced since well before her wanting the separation. The problem I see with these reasons is there is little to no acknowledgement in her hand in how things have gone.

We recently (within 3 years) moved to a different country for her career. She has also suffered from some mental health issues back home which were intensifying with the added stress of working back home. I will admit I never wanted to move and had fought moving until the end. Something I deeply regret doing. After the move, I stayed at home to be the primary care giver to our son. Taking him to programs, doctors appointments and being as close to him while he is going through this massive change. Now that he is in school there is added pressure to get a job but certification and licensing in my career takes a long time through the bureaucratic process.

We are still living together in the same 3 bedroom town home, all be it in separate rooms for sleeping.

As stated before, she has said we are separated and wants a divorce - going as far as telling her friends etc. that this is happening. She told me in May that she was going to do this if things hadn't changed but I did not make the changes necessary. I thought giving her space and riding it out would be enough to salvage and work on the relationship. Not sure why I did that because now I know it wasn't the best move.

In the recent few months she has been going out more often and taking care of herself. Something I mentioned would be good for her. I never lost attraction to my wife, but when the woman you love stops taking care of herself or her appearance it diminishes my self worth and I feel disrespected to be honest. Her physical appearance to me has never been an issue for me - I think she's gorgeous. But when someone stops caring for themselves it does have an adverse effect in my opinion. When I wanted to talk to her about us and complimented how she was looking I was accused of only wanting to because she said she lost weight and started dressing nice. Well not for only those reasons but yea - she was looking and more importantly acting like the girl I fell madly in love with years ago. There is now a lot of secrecy and secretive behavior.

I am currently respecting her space and boundaries while trying to work on myself. I would do anything to avoid getting divorced as I truly love her and want a life with her and my son intact.

There is more to the story that I have not mentioned because this has become rather long winded. I have given the major points though.

Please tell me your thoughts but be kind. Feel as if my work is falling apart.