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Phone, Text, OKC Game

Reddit View
October 20, 2014

Okay. Been trying for the last few weeks to meet guys online. A few weeks back, I messaged a guy on OK Cupid who shares some of my interests and is of the short, slight build I prefer.

Got a message last night from him saying he had the app uninstalled and was sorry for ignoring my message, having not seen it. Messaged back and forth a few dozen times about his interests, my interests, how we feel about the local town, etc

Tried to book tonight over coffee and offered to bring a friend who could advise him about some career moves he may be interested in.

He indicated interest in meeting, but that work/school will make today impossible. When I inquired about tomorrow night I got some display of interest.

I also messaged him my number.

This afternoon I sent a message asking about his day and sharing details of mine.

Where do I take it from here?

Usually date women, over the last month I've been running RP text game with pretty good success. Flying blind here.

On edit:

Okay, shot a few dozen OKC messages back and forth with him last night. Stopped chatting so I could drink and watch a movie with a friend. Got a message from him on what I assume was his lunch break, so that may indicate some interest....

On again edit:

Got his number. Still haven't pinned down the coffee date. He's under the impression I'm gay gay instead of bi, so I'll need to clear that up without detonating things.

So much easier fucking fat girls with daddy issues... grumble...

On another another edit:

Date went well, now fighting onset of Oneitis. Oh well, at least that isn't a new enemy.

Post Information
Title Phone, Text, OKC Game
Author GC0W30
Upvotes 2
Comments 7
Date 20 October 2014 07:38 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit altTRP
Original Link
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[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

A lot of stuff going wrong here. This is simple game stuff, not just gay related.

First off, the length of an online conversation is inversely proportional to the likelihood of a meet up. The longer you spend chatting online the less likely you are to ever get a close on a date. Get in, build comfort, get phone number/ close by setting up date. Thats it. Don't drag it out, save as much as you can for the date.

Second, if your proposed date is not possible, ask them to choose a time. If they do not do this, next immediately. Do not allow them to reject your proposed times more than twice before moving on.

Lastly, and this one is guy specific, figure out your role. Its tough to do online but you have to figure out which side of the dominance card you will be playing. By default I suggest you play highly dominant and masculine as most guys online are happy to fall into the supporting role.

Tl;Dr: Set up a date and stop talking until that date.

Edit: as for the bi/gay thing, don't worry about it. The way to broach the subject if needed is offhandedly mention having been with women. Trust me, this can be a big turn on for guys. Its a big proof of masculinity.

[–]GC0W30[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Had him down for a 6 PM date, was half an hour into my 2 PM date, got a text saying his plans for costume shopping tonight had changed and could I push it back to 6 PM Monday.

I texted that I may not be available until November 3, he texted back that day should work and work will be slower then.

He is in school and working a 6-day-a-week job, so he COULD just be choosing costume shopping with a friend over me, or he COULD be uninterested.

Not sure if I think this still has potential. Thoughts?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Well if he agreed to the nov. 3rd date you've got a green light.

[–]GC0W30[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Actually moved it forward to tomorrow night, as I was mistaken about my work schedule before

I'll minimal contact going forward, just one text tomorrow afternoon to confirm the exact time, as my quitting time is sometimes slightly variable.

[–]contrafagotto1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Guys are notoriously flaky online or in pickup places and tend to automatically devalue anyone encountered thus (except for the hottest .2 percent). Since you mention common interests, I'm guessing that you're looking for something more than a one-shot experience. I'd suggest looking for ways to meet compatible guys in non-pickup out-and-about situations that give you a chance to show your most desirable qualities. People treat each other with much more respect then. Be prepared to deal with the daunting demographics that gay guys have to deal with, though. For straight people, half the people they meet are of the "appropriate" sex. For gay guys, it's a small fraction of that, and an elaborate, encrypted, unspoken negotiation may be necessary to determine whether sex is a possibility.

[–]GC0W30[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Since you mention common interests, I'm guessing that you're looking for something more than a one-shot experience.

Yeah. Would like a medium-serious relationship, FWB or platonic friend.

[–]should_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's cool but I don't think suggesting bringing a friend on the first date was the way to go. It's borderline Nice Guy, and I'm frankly surprised he continued the conversation, though I guess it was a friendly gesture and I don't have the conversation written in front of me. It can friend zone you really easily since you're with a friend; at best you would have high sexual tension and your friend would be third-wheeled. Don't bring it up again unless he does.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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