Making Small Talk

[deleted] · 2014-06-06T20:15:50+00:00

this is a maya angelou quote if i am not mistaken, and i recommend that you burn it into your memory:

"People will forget what you said ... But people will never forget how you made them feel"

and its true as fucking hell. think about a friend you havent seen for ages, chances are you cant remember what you said to eachother right? you cant remember your conversations, but you can remember the person and you remember how you feel when you are around them.

when i was younger i was often worried about what to say, if i was boring or not, if id say the right thing and so on, and sometimes just end up saying nothing as a result.

when you are interacting with people, dont think about what is best to say, dont worry about it, just think about trying to make them feel good. ask questions, listen to them, make eye contact and smile, show genuineness, directness, openness, warmth, and connect.

i work in a shop, and this is what i do to make the customers happy, i just try and give them good service and make them feel good. because that is what makes them come back for more. they may forget what i say to them (i often ask them questions about what they are doing that day, or where they are from or something - nothing complex unless i am feeling quirky ;) ), and it really works wonders.

things like openness and good body language is much more important than what comes out of our mouths, and its the same with girls. dont even worry about what you are saying

JDoorjam · 2014-06-06T22:28:07+00:00

You want to stay away from conversational ruts, where people can talk and not even listen to what they are saying. That was part off the reason that when I was in DC, I'd play a game to see how long I could go in a conversation before either of us asked what the other person did for a living.

In general, just take a genuine interest in them as people. I will often ask them what they like about their neighborhood -- everyone has some degree of emotional investment, and they typically don't have a small-talk pre-recording ready to go.

Finally, when a conversation gets stale -- whether that's 30 seconds, or 30 minutes in -- leave the conversation. If you bump into that person an hour later, you can try talking about some other thing, so don't panic and think this is your last chance to be interesting.

People often had a hard time leaving dying conversations. Here's the secret. At a party you can make up literally any excuse to get out of a conversation. You can say, "well, I'm going to go stand over there now," and people will say, "sounds great!" You can even say you're going to do one thing and then blatantly do another. Nobody cares.

smalltrout · 2014-06-07T00:40:25+00:00

Don't say Hi or Hello. Start directly by a question or affirmation. Say anything that's on your mind a the present moment.

What's the score of the red sox game?
Did you go to...
Do you think I should buy a new car?
What's the best breed of dog
anything.......
I need to poop

=D

Ludovico · 2014-06-07T12:11:00+00:00

I keep talking about different common things that people are interested in until i find something they like.

example: Watch any good shows/movies recently? Been to any concerts? Do you play any sports?

A lot of the time i just ask what they do for fun. People love talking about things they do for fun.

Title	Making Small Talk
Author	OneTouchHowMuch
Upvotes	8
Comments	5
Date	June 6, 2014 8:00 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/27hw03/making_small_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/making-small-talk.16380 https://theredarchive.com/post/16380

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