IM ENGAGED!!!

hah... just kidding. :)

Thanks for the positive feed-back on my last post. For all intents and purposes, the information was completely accurate, which led to accurate and helpful advice.

At the risk of sounding as if I am bitching about my SO or complaining, I am truly confused and a little hurt about a discussion that came up today.

LAST NIGHT: it was all jokes about weddings, marriages and alluding to ours and how we are a "power couple". On par with what I explained, right? I thought so. Also, we get dinner last night, and HE wants to go to the store right after to pick up my misc. bathroom supplies, so his place is stocked with what I am comfortable with so that I will spend the night more often because "he doesn't want to spend a night without me"

TODAY:

I feel like the commitment rug was pulled out from underneath me.

The context of our discussion aren't as important (although, if you need details, I will explain) as some of his nonchalant comments, including the following:

him "Not seeing a problem getting married in the mid-thirties as long as commitment is implied somewhere along the lines"

And, of course there is not a problem with that. But that is not what we have so clearly been discussing. And what he has been implying. And what I have been transparent about on my part, as well. See the last post for examples.

I feel like I have either been, as I said, grasping at straws and hearing what I want to hear (although, there is nothing inaccurate about the previous examples I sited) or the commitment rug was just pulled out from underneath me, out of the blue, after implying and even openly saying that is what he wants.

In summary, I feel as though when we get in a good rhythm, communication is great, we have great days together, make some big decisions together (i.e. buying a car, taking a new job that works for the other spouse). But I feel like when things really get rolling and things are working wonderfully between the two of us, he pulls the E brake.

I get it. I can't change him. I can't control him. And I am not trying to. If he is marriage minded, great. If he is not, thats okay, too. I am trying to understand him.

RWP, Why might this be? I want to love/respect/put this person first in our relationship and be the best woman I can for him.

Alternately, what are some appropriate responses? I am not interested in being manipulative, bitchy, or throwing a fit. I am likewise not interested in discussing a future with someone who flip flops about what he wants and when. I would like some consistency, as that is what I have provided to him. Even if that means marriage discussions are 100% off the table.

For as unfair as it would be for me to pull an ultimatum or manipulate a commitment out of him, I feel it is equally unfair for him to dangle the carrot in front of me.

If this were you in my shoes, what would you do next? How would you respond or rather....not respond?