TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

lostatsea93 Archive

View 17 posts and 148 comments by lostatsea93 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
36

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen25/08/15 01:54 AM
35

[FIELD REPORT]lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen26/05/15 03:47 AM
28

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen12/01/15 07:33 PM
22

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 01:42 AM
14

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen24/05/15 01:17 AM
13

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen13/01/15 04:39 PM
12

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen03/09/14 05:08 PM
11

lostatsea93/r/askTRP13/09/14 04:42 PM
11

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen07/06/15 04:36 PM
10

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 01:48 AM
9

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen20/05/15 05:15 PM
7

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen26/11/14 06:06 PM
7

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen19/01/15 05:32 PM
6

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen10/09/14 04:32 PM
6

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 01:30 AM
4

lostatsea93/r/RedPillWomen23/11/15 02:09 AM
0

lostatsea93/r/askTRP13/01/15 06:36 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

put the loan amount into your savings account to build that amount back up. That is exactly what we talked about! Thank you! Yes, he showed me that if my loan is X amount, I'm really paying X + (interest) over the next year, which is a lot. However, he showed me if we invest X amount each month, how much it would grow to as well :) Exciting stuff. I think we are going to do that.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/15 03:36 PM
1

Right! I know the pride comes from "I can do it all by myself" and "look what I did" and surrendering that to more of a "look what we did" thing or "thanks for taking care of me" is hard to shift to.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/15 04:31 AM
2

Yes, you are right...good point, thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/15 03:02 AM
1

its about 4% of his total savings, so it wouldn't set us back any. Thanks for the advise, though!
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/15 03:02 AM
1

yeah!! lol thats part of the reason I like hiring him (is that bad???) if something turns out horrible, welp, not my call!
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/15 04:10 PM
1

Aww - thanks. I guess what is sort of catching me off guard is that a lot of people are insinuating that this is "my day" (false: its "our" day) and that I should have some amazing pinterest board in store, or something, when in all actuality, i have never been a woman who can't wait to plan a wedding.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/15 04:08 PM
2

You will. Compromising and following into the submissive role works well once you found "the one". Just don't try to make it work with the wrong one, you know? Also, your ex is going to have a hard time finding another high quality woman to agree to that. Especially with bringing kids into the relationship and being divorced. If he doesn't see divorce and prior kids as lessening his SMV, he's delusional.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/15 08:35 PM
2

26, engaged, no kids, not living together (yet). 1) No. Being a married partner is part of my criteria for the "right man". 2) You know, while I wasn't RPW and was in my own dominant skin, I was in relationships with men that I couldn't stand the thought of living with. I really valued my space. Now that I'm with the right one, I can't wait to build something with him. And, for what its worth, he can't either. It isn't a compromise for either of us to start and build this great life together 3) …
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/15 02:58 PM
4

Well, striving and wanting to be the best woman you can be is a great thing. But you need to examine the place that its coming from. Is it coming from fear / lack or scarcity? Or is it coming from abundance, love, joy? The engine that drives the action will determine your result in this case.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/15 02:47 PM
3

"The thing is, I feel like even if we did have titles, there is still the risk that he could leave at any time, because we're not married." BINGO And guess what, the harsh truth is, even if you're married, if you're feeling that way NOW, theres no guarantee you will stay married. I would recommend some self reflection here and really examine some of your feelings about this partnership. It seems like you want that title, or even marriage (one day) to sort of offer you that "security" of a relati…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/15 10:36 PM
2

If its hard for you to say no, its going to be hard for him to say yes. I'm not saying that being giving and yielding in a committed relationship is bad, because its not. Once a man has shown you that he is on the same page as you, sure, give him your all. But, you basically haven't given him any reason to take that commitment. I mean, what exactly does he have to gain from this equation since you are already giving him everything? Makes perfect sense to me why he hasn't committed to you. "Why b…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/15 09:30 PM
7

Not only that, but lets assume he's going through a "Weird zone" as he calls it and eventually says "okay, fine, you're my girlfriend". Your willingness to sort of hang around on the back burner kind of demotes you in a self respect fashion. Like, no guy wants the girl that is his for the taking. I know that sounds bad to say, but you need to act like a prize (note: NOT princess) and have self respect for yourself so that he in turn sees your value and steps up to to the plate.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/15 09:45 PM
2

My mistake, thats what I read when I read that a career isn't important to you. You know, being an RPW by choice, meaning, submitting to your S.O. even when you know you could be a turned up feminist and "take care of yourself" is a hell of a lot different than being an RPW by default, because you've given yourself no other options in life. Only you know what is right for you, though.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/15 10:46 PM
2

He is not going to leave me simply because I may not have a degree, that'd be silly. Thats not what I implied. But starting something without finishing it isn't something that usually shows as a gold star, especially college. You'll feel better about yourself if you finish, too. You say now that you dont care and it doesn't matter, but it does. Just not for the reasons you think it does.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/15 09:42 PM
2

I'm very curious who you mentor and what they are doing today.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/15 08:09 PM
7

It seems to be wildly misunderstood that RPW are uneducated or choose not to have good jobs. Or, rather, that most RP men want a stay at home mom/wife who reads fashion magazines, and not books. If you aren't into the whole school thing, thats one thing. But, please, dont make it about a future relationship, like you're doing anyone here a favor by not finishing what you've started. I switched my major 4 times. Hated college. And, the job I am doing now (which, I love) doesn't even REQUIRE a col…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/15 08:07 PM
1

Another case of women thinking that becoming MORE RP will actually help change her unqualified man. RP works best when you are both on the same page. If he isn't in this, there is nothing you can do to change that. Put your efforts to someone who is 100% yours.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/15 06:23 PM
2

Get a crock pot asap. You can make so many hearty meals by just turning a dial and walking away. Whip up some potatoes or a side, and you're done after like 8 hours. Pure genius.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/15 06:20 PM
5

There is a group run by Tara Furman from the surrendered wife, and I have to admit, its gotten a little rogue. Women transferring the term "love tank" to mean cooking dinner. Sorry ladies, there is no substitution to a blow job. It started off great, but its turning into a group of women bitching saying "this is hard work :(" and "I want to give up :(".
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/15 05:10 PM
1

Once you get engaged and married, you will never just be boyfriend/girlfriend again. So true. We talked last night. All is well.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/15 07:02 PM
1

yeah, you're right, i definitely dont want that, either. I dunno, I suppose i just had a frustrating day.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/15 03:00 PM
1

The other way to build attraction is to create a barrier to tease him around. There are time barriers and situational barriers, but anything that yanks the marriage away will cause him to give chase like a cat chasing a feather. If you hand a feather to a cat, he doesn't want it. But if you jerk it away, just out of his reach, he suddenly wants it more than life itself. People are the same way. God, this is so unfortunately true. I hate to say it, but the more sweet, submissive, agreeable and ov…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/15 03:19 AM
2

Thanks - this is helpful. I've realized that one of the things that bothers me the most is he will sort of flip flop when conversation comes up. For instance he will talk very specifically about "OUR" wedding and "OUR" life in a very "We" state of mind. And then other times he will make flippant comments like "When I get married one day...(bla bla bla)" and its sort of like....whaa...? Haven't we already been open and talked about this? Why the ambiguity?
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/15 04:46 PM
1

You mean if I become entitled? Or if I stop acting entitled? I've tried to be aware of this, as well, which is why I trained for (and ran) a half marathon and have been keeping up my place even better than before. Also, I have gone out of my way to take better care of him since I now feel confident in being more vulnerable around him. If anything, I probably acted more entitled prior to that. I dunno, maybe I misunderstood your question...
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/15 10:45 PM
8

Is this a joke?
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/15 10:43 PM
1

They definitely are, but that's a different therapy session.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/15 08:31 PM
1

My parents are leaving town Friday-sunday. I am flying in thursday night for rehearsal dinner and will be tied up all day Friday. He initially said that he would fly in early to "see his friends" (even though he will have all night thursday / all day Friday/ half of saturday), so I thought he maybe had something planned, but now that he is flying in with me thursday night, I'm almost sure he doesn't have anything planned.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/15 08:30 PM
4

If you wNt to go the traditional route, yes, the brides family pays for it. My parents are currently supporting my older drug addict brother, thus sticking me with my student loan balance (that they initially said they were paying for) so I seriously doubt they have a budget set aside for their daughter to get married, unfortunately.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/15 07:24 PM
1

Part of something we discussed is that he was going to fly home early for the trip, since I'm going to be in the wedding and tied up, and my parents will actually be leaving town the weekend we get in (lame, I know) so I thought the only reasonable explanation for him wanting to come home early was to ask them privately while I'm obviously not around. And now he's not going back early so, not sure if that means anything or if I'm making something out of nothing.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/15 07:12 PM
3

I like that you eloped, too. Is it weird that I actually can't stand the thought of a traditional wedding? Like, thinking about planning a wedding and going through that whole song and dance just makes me loathe the idea. However, being his wife, and him being my husband, and all that jazz is perfectly okay to me in my mind. That doesn't scare me, what so ever. In fact, I am more looking forward to forever with him than an actual wedding of any sort. I know that is sort of a silly question, but …
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/15 05:08 PM
7

Really, I'm not sure. I was a lot like the skeptics who cruised this sub for a while before curiously posting. I'm not even sure how I found TRP or RPW, but once I did, it honestly made a lot of sense for me. Sure, there are outliers in both forums (TRP and RPW) which would make a critic shake their head and call someone crazy, but if you focus on the material (and not the way it is delivered), it has a lot of validity do it and has the potential to really improve an otherwise "off" relationship…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/15 03:46 PM
2

To be fair, neither one of us are really qualified to speak on what it's like to be a mom AND rpw. So, I can imagine it's tough. That's why I would recommend discussing a budget to hire help so the marriage stays top priority.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/15 04:47 AM
1

First, I dont have kids, so take this with whatever grain of salt that you will. Second, being RP doesn't mean you have to do 100% of everything domestic 100% of the time. No, this doesn't mean dish it off to your man or be lazy, but you can delegate things out. For instance, if you can afford to have someone come over and help you with the baby so you can work out, grocery shop or whatever else? Do it. Your job is to be happy, pleasant, and help maintain and take care of your family to the best…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/15 03:33 AM
1

feel free to PM me :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/15 04:57 PM
5

You mentioned wanting to amp up your sex life. It seems obvious that fixing the actual sex (lingerie? new position?) would do that. Quite contrary. Pick some things to focus on outside of the bedroom to improve in your relationship and inside will follow.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/15 04:31 AM
3

Good call! Yeah, I didn't even realize how much I was nagging or subtly putting him down. Yuck. Oh well, ya live ya learn!
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/15 05:02 PM
7

Great job! The pajamas...Ugh. Yes. I am still in tattered gym clothes. oops. I need some good / sexy pajamas, but I'll admit, I haven't found something that is both sexy AND comfortable. And, well, I'm just not one of those women who can get by without a good nights sleep, especially due to crappy attire. Let me know what you found :) Also, the sex thing. So much of this. In the last few months I noticed sex dwindling for us too. But in the mean time I would try to be "helpful" with diet / exerc…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/15 03:44 PM
3

I work a particularly stressful job, too. Sometimes when people say "you can do it!" It frustrates me because its highlighting the fact that, well, I'm currently NOT doing it. or "You will get it!" insinuates that he hasn't gotten it yet. Honestly, if I were you, I would drop it all together and just focus on making your time together enjoyable. Maybe comedy movie / comedy show this weekend? Laughter relieves stress. Constantly talking about the stressor, does not.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/15 05:32 PM
2

I think so, too. I dont think I could get away with calling myself "submissive" or RPW to him yet, but its one of those things where actions speak louder than words.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/15 04:36 PM
14

This may sound harsh, but you aren't looking for a project. To be a RPW to a man, he should be showing up with his A game most of the time, too. If he is too mentally reserved and/or checked out, you have to decide how much energy/effort you can put into something that is outside of your control. To me, it is very little.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/15 07:33 PM
3

Thanks, I have been really working hard to wrap my head around this and most of all just accept what it is...and I feel like I am finally getting a good grip on it and it feels really good.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/15 06:05 PM
4

No, actually, I haven't. And, this is something that I dont know how to approach. Upon seeing the show "The submissive wives" He made a comment about how he would never want to be in a relationship like that and that he felt it was "disrespectful" to the woman. I asked some simple questions such as what it means to him when he hears the word "Submission" (Does he hear "doormat?" or does he hear honor?). I didn't say "Hey! Get ready, this is what I'm going to do!" but i sort of just....yielded mo…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/15 06:04 PM
5

If you listen to more of Laura Doyles material, she says that having an opinion about the insignificant things is actually good. A preference, if you will. A man would probably get uncomfortable with the idea of a door mat, or someone who can't think for themselves. If you notice, some of the things you mentioned, you are still totally in control, instead if yielding. I just read her book last week, too, so I find myself still trying to translate a little bit of it too. I think you have the gist…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/15 03:25 AM
4

Honestly, a big part of why it bothered me was because I was taking it personal and assuming that I'm not attractive etc. I literally stopped making it about me and said to mysel "whatever, he's not in the mood. It's not about me" and just kinda let it be. Someone's women have sex as validation...and when we don't have our man constantly wanting to fuck us, we assume somethinf is wrong. And, yes, sometimes, maybe something is. But there could be a world of stress that we don't know about.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/15 11:26 PM
5

Hi, are you me? Literally in the same position. Not sure what to tell you except I have started to just accept it for what it is. I can't want sex more than he does, and I'm not going to beg for it. I let him know in big / small ways that I am attracted to him and want to have sex. He only wants sex every 10 days or so.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/15 10:43 PM
3

Thank you, I read the surrendered wife this weekend and am reading the surrendered single now. She actually lives in my area so I'm going to do some research and find out if there are any small groups available or mentors available. Thank you for your suggestion. I have a really hard time with control and I think letting go of it is causing me to feel a lot of angst
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/15 06:53 PM
4

Lol! Omg. Loved this. I've actually been facebook free for the last year (seriously) and just deleted the instagram app on my phone to stop the browsing. It's time to go on a social media cleanse
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/15 06:39 PM
1

Thats a really good point, actually. My nutrition has been sub-par, as we went away for the weekend and ate like crap.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/15 06:05 PM
3

"If I was looking for rings with a would-be wife, you can bet damn sure shes a whole lot more than adequate." This may sound crazy, but there is some insecurity / uneasiness there, too. We looked at rings back in February (his suggestion / doing) and he has been bringing up every few weeks this impending proposal (not me) and the anxiety of the when/where is driving me crazy. I know it is supposed to be a "go with the flow and enjoy it" type of situation, but I am having a really hard time letti…
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/15 06:04 PM
1

Sounds like part of the problem at hand could be down to the appreciation you're getting back for the extra effort you're putting in maintaining your SO's place? He is very gracious and treats me very well. Flew me out of town this weekend for my birthday and bought me a beautiful necklace. Apart from that, is the perfect gentleman. I WANT to do all of these things for him, I just feel like I can't ever do / be enough. These aren't necessarily things he has said, but things I am feeling. I just …
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/15 05:58 PM
2

I bet your SO is noticing that you are a bit unhappy. Maybe a little bit. I have been putting on a good poker face around him and have been showing him how much I care in little ways, little surprises. Truth is, I am struggling, though, which is why I am venting here verse to him directly. Any suggestions for sling shotting myself out of a rut?
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/15 05:51 PM
2

For the social retards out there. Heres what not to say: "hhh....hey, michelle...um...remember when I asked you to hang out, uh, today? uh..uhm....do...do, uh, you...still...wanna maybe, like, do something if you're not busy??" Dont assume that just because she isn't interested that you can't capture her interest. It takes a lot for someone to grab my attention. Keep in mind, if she's worth dating, she probably has men coming at her from all angles. Don't just assume she's not interested because…
/r/askTRP02/05/15 09:11 PM
1

Well, since TRP is aimed at men being the alpha they we're (are) meant to be, I would go secure your loin cloth and swing from your tree house to hers and pick her up tonight. RPW dont make the first move.
/r/askTRP02/05/15 08:34 PM
1

Also, $100.00 profit is not enough to be a land lord for a property. I sell real estate full time. If she is interested in selling it, cashing in her equity and paying off debt, PM me and I will recommend her to a top agent in her area.
/r/askTRP21/04/15 07:38 PM
2

I think it honestly depends on your mutual goals together, if any. I have debt, and my boyfriend does not. I currently live by myself and am not interested in getting married, living together, etc, until i am 100% debt free (which, i will be by the end of this year) But then again, I get flack from RPW saying "Let a man take care of you if he wants! Stop trying to do everything! Just look pretty and suck his dick!" Yet, here i am, trying to take responsibility for my school debt and funding my 4…
/r/askTRP21/04/15 07:37 PM
-1

No need to have a boggled mind. It's not that big of a deal, honestly. Thanks for reminding me that no one knows my S.O. and what happened in the situation like I do.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/15 11:51 PM
0

It's not so much that. And I guess I worded strong opinions about a female I hadn't met, but really I was more disappointed in the guest for pulling this last minute, when SO and I have spoken in private and both doubt it was a "last minute" trip. We both feel like we were just told last minute. And anyone doubting my security with this woman, I appreciate it and understand, but that's not why I was upset. I invited her and him out to dinner with us and my parents last night (who are also in tow…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/15 02:55 PM
0

I agree. I am not necessarily still talking about it with my boyfriend so much as I am just annoyed on the inside and venting to you all on the web. More than anything, as I explained below, I just feel/felt embarrassed by the whole thing and that it could have possibly reflected poorly on me since he is technically my friend first, who boyfriend went out of his way to accommodate. Sort of like a bad reference.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/15 07:43 PM
0

Ha! I agree. I am very type-A. Need to take a breather.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/15 07:35 PM
0

I guess thats what I was looking for..whether I am sticking my nose where it doesn't belong, which I am. Boyfriend won't be home, anyway, as he leaves for work every morning around 645 and returns around 7pm. Plus, my parents are in town (for conference) and we have dinner plans all week, including tonight where we both invited girlfriend and co-worker out to dinner with my parents. I guess I just felt/feel embarrassed that S.O. stuck his neck out to accommodate a friend, said friend acted out o…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/15 07:21 PM
0

I made dinner reservations for the 4 of us to go out tonight. I have no problem getting to know someone, whether she is slutty or not slutty (which, I have no idea). I have a problem with my co worker not minding manners when he was my friend first, and I fear it reflects poorly on me as a person and to what type of "friends" I have. It isn't really about the girl. I just felt like the whole situation was rude and I am embarrassed.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/15 07:14 PM
0

I've already spoken of my lack of trust in decision making, which I am working on. I guess more than anything I felt out of control and embarrassed as I feel like it reflects poorly on me to have a mutual friend throw this curve ball. I was hoping he would be a better guest than that.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/15 07:09 PM
0

Thats all I was looking for. Not some freudian analysis of whether I am jealous of some plate I haven't even met / seen pictures of. For what its worth, said co worker was out at the bar / dinner with another female that night (again, none of my business) which solidified the opinion that it isn't some serious relationship with someone he hopes makes a good impression. He has openly told us he is dating multiple people. Why have this chick fly out, then, if she is of no relevance, and put signif…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/15 07:08 PM
0

I was wondering if there's some jealousy happening here. An attractive, sexually promiscuous girl staying in her boyfriend's condo. Hmm... Otherwise there's no reason why any of this matters. I'm staying there the whole time, anyway, as his place is closer to where the convention is going on. It doesn't really bother me. I haven't even seen this person or heard from her to form an opinion about her other than the fact that she has no problem not asking the owner of the place she is staying if sh…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/15 07:05 PM
1

I know/trust he can handle his own, and I will leave it at that. I just can't shake the feeling of how rude this whole thing is and it has left a bad taste in my mouth and the desire to have words with the co worker...but I guess this is when I take the high road.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/15 06:30 PM
1

My hair is really starting to get better now. Been using leave in conditioner. Trying to switch to crackers and fig for lunch. Wiat...what do crackers and fig have to do with having great hair? Or did I miss something?
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/15 09:45 PM
1

Walking campus in heels would be...odd. What about some cute flats from banana republic or Jcrew? There are some really comfortable/functional shoes that have feminine embellishments and they don't hurt your feet!
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/15 09:38 PM
1

I'm definitely waiting...but i guess the question is, is this a legit sign?!
/r/askTRP13/01/15 09:59 PM
1

Well he pulled up the computer and we looked together and he asked if I would help him go pick some out...so I feel like I heard him correctly. Just not sure if we should not bring it up?
/r/askTRP13/01/15 08:53 PM
1

I mean, its elusively come up in the past, but I've never sat down with someone and laid all the cards out there (finances, house hunting, children, goals, etc) and no one I've ever been with has been like "lets go look at rings" It was always sort of an "if we ever got married..." sort of comments. Nothing beyond that, though.
/r/askTRP13/01/15 07:59 PM
1

he already asked me if i would come with him to look at rings. and the next morning I asked him if he meant what he said, he said yes, and pulled up a website with rings on it to look through it. I just dont want to be like "Lets go ring shopping today!!!"....so I should wait it out then?
/r/askTRP13/01/15 07:13 PM
2

I like the daily tidy up thing. In my weekly planner, I have a "weekly check list" outside of my work duties that include detailing my car, meal planning, going to church, and yoga 3x a week. It makes me SCHEDULE these things intend of treating them as a "if I have time" thing. I should add more to it.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/15 06:48 PM
1

I definitely dont want to nag and I want to give him all the time/space he needs, since really, I wouldn't be mentally ready until the end of the year anyway. So, he can have it! So, its okay to get excited, but just enjoy it day by day?
/r/askTRP13/01/15 06:47 PM
1

He finished school, got his masters in a year and a half, bought two investment properties, got the job he said he was going after, shows up on time, doesn't blow me off, and hasn't let me down so far. Yes, I guess the advice I am seeking is peace of mind. Is it okay to get excited? Is it okay to plan on it happening? Or should I just lay low and put it out of my mind.
/r/askTRP13/01/15 06:46 PM
2

Thanks! I'm just trying to put it out of my mind so I dont have a mini melt down every time he bends down to tie his shoes. He did say he isn't quite ready yet, but those were his intentions. And he mentioned something about "Before the end of the year", so its going to be a super lonnnnng year for me! Which is why I kind of want to just put it out of my mind in the mean time but gosh its hard! Plus, I dont want to jinx it or anything...although, he is a man of his word. I doubt he would say som…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/15 05:08 PM
1

;)
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/15 02:24 AM
1

Thanks! I will ask him. We've talked extensively about my debt in the last year because it has been a really sensitive topic for me as I navigate through the world of self employment (and self employment tax) and overall better money management. He told me that when he found out how much debt he had, he invested and day traded where he could pay off 3x the amount when the time comes. I know were supposed to keep our emotions in check but I did cry. I want to show him that I would never take fina…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/15 12:30 AM
1

its like you all knew my (future husband) boyfriend is half jewish. No disrespect to anyone who is fully jewish, as it is a religion that I have been strongly looking into and I have many orthodox jews in my life. Just think its a neat coincidence :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/15 10:54 PM
3

I just want to be an expression God through love and service to my man and my family. Thank you for the well wishes. Mazel!
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/15 10:41 PM
3

good point. I dont want to be like "and guess what I did!" I will keep that in mind. But I definitely want to chip away at as much as possible so that when we talk about "our" finances, we dont have to fill up the gaping debt hole first.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/15 10:40 PM
1

No, I totally agree. He told me that when he found out how much debt I have (at or around 50k) he actively sought out investments to figure out how to triple the amount of money to pay it off when the time is right. So, the good news is it sounds like it will be handled one way or another...And I am grateful for that. But I would like to surprise him by saying "hey you know that money 'we' were planning on paying down? i took care of it. Lets use the other money towards a house or something else…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/15 10:28 PM
1

Love these! I am still working hard at the no cursing or foul language. It is hard when the habit is there, and when my significant other uses foul language with me (not at me) but while telling a story or a joke or something like that. I wouldn't want to scold him or make him feel uncomfortable, but its hard to not use the same language he uses when he uses it! Still working on this.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/15 07:46 PM
1

I guess my perception of an RP relationship is male dominated, female yielding. Which is true. I was really surprised to find out how many females make more money than their significant others. My personal perception is that there would be some sort of power struggle with a female bread winner. I guess I get that from years of my mom making most of the money and my dad literally using the words that she basically "cut his balls off", but a lot of that comes with the entitled attitude that goes a…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/15 01:23 AM
1

Again, this isn't about me personally, as my spouse still makes more money than me right now. Whether it bothers me later or not is a bridge I have yet to cross.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/15 12:34 AM
1

I do understand, and its not as if I personally agree or disagree. Obviously, me potentially making more than my SO doesn't really bother me a whole lot. I dont want the added responsibility of being head of house hold of being the sole bread winner, but thats neither here nor there. What confuses me, especially about a lot of the replies in this thread, is that to be a RPW mainly depends on what is okay between me and my significant other, and has less to do with a set of guidelines, standards,…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 11:03 PM
3

This is interesting to me. I was raised religions (lutheran), went to private school my whole life, stopped going to church in high school, became a self-proclaimed buddhist in college, moved to india after college, got it out of my system and then yeah, here we are. I dont go to church every week, but I go just about every other week. I still question my religion deeply, and still have struggles with my relationship with God. I am a very hippy-dippy type of philosophy person and "you're going t…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/15 12:28 AM
2

True, he does always comment on my ambition and lack of wanting to "settle for less". I sometimes have to be careful not to send out the message that "he isn't enough", though. I have been guilty of being a "go getter" and always wanting the best of the best. Not necessarily materialistic things, but I have high standards for myself and everyone else. If anything, TRP has let me relax some of those rigid standards, accept him for more of what he is, and love him unconditionally, instead of seein…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 04:39 PM
2

Ha! I completely agree - The more exhausted I am from dealing with people at work, the more I just want to enjoy our time together. I guess that is a plus!
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 04:37 PM
1

Yeah, I dont know why I never really got this until now, but that makes sense. I strive a lot for personal development and to be the best I can be...but sometimes I forget to keep our relationship number 1 (which includes his wants / needs / preferences) over an internet forum or check list of "how I should be"
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 04:36 PM
2

Thanks! I noticed I was terrible about leaving it at the office, too. I started having to time block my schedule. At a certain time every day, I go home and do yoga, do some cooking, light some candles and have a strict "no emails / phone calls" rule once I check out of work for the day. That has helped a little bit.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 04:35 PM
2

Thanks! As of now, we dont share finances. He mentioned how his dad gives his mom an "allowance" every month for spending, and he manages the funds. She also makes a ton of money, so its nice to see strong women still wanting to surrender to their men, even though society would say we dont have to. I like it!
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 04:34 PM
2

So interesting! This year I actively started going back to church every sunday. Mostly for my sanity and to believe that there is something greater above myself that "has control of things" But also because I want to raise my family / children in that way in the future. Sometimes life turns us up side down to get us right back on the right path!
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 04:33 PM
1

Update/Edit posted in main body! Thanks all!
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 04:31 PM
8

The 5 love languages. Its unlikely any couple shares the same love language. Really helps you understand what it is your SO sees/views as "loving" and helps you decode why sometimes you may feel appreciated and other times maybe not. There is a test online, I believe, to determine what your love language is, if you dont already have an idea.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 10:06 PM
2

Trust me, I just had to swallow that tough lesson this past week....it doesn't have me re-thinking him as a potential partner, but it has me re-thinking how this needs to work for us to have a long lasting, loving relationship. I am a bit stubborn, and really need to get over myself....sooooo the work continues!
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:21 PM
1

You're welcome! I hope it helps. I used to have the same mindset of wondering "if he is worth marriage" or if "he's worth settling down with". Now my questions to myself consist of "Can I accept this man 100% for who/what he is 100% of the time? Can I love him unconditionally no matter what? Can I trust him?" So, now it becomes an internal project rather than looking for validation outside of yourself. Not sure if you at all have those thoughts, but I know I used to. Glad I could help and good l…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:11 PM
2

I'm mixed on the whole "When to get engaged" thing. I have been dating my SO for 15 months, and I know for a fact I could/would marry him. At the same time, we just had a massive disagreement this past week that had me re-evaluate a few things. Not that I dont want to Marry him, but that I now understand more fully what that would entail. I have a much more clear picture of what committing him will be. At the same time, in any relationship, you can't ever "know" it all before you make that leap.…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:06 PM
1

I personally think he would respect how serious you take the relationship, as you are not willing to be all willy nilly about moving in together. With that being said, it is possible to move in with someone and have them take it serious. My old room mate JUST moved in with her boyfriend 2 months ago. They had been together 3 years. She was really apprehensive because she lived with a partner before, and obviously broke up. She said she didn't want to move in with someone again until she was enga…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 05:54 PM
2

Maybe I missed it, but I did not read you mentioning considering medication anywhere in this post. I am not a doctor, nor am I saying you need to take medication....but it may not be a bad thing to consider. I also struggle with mild/severe depression, depending on the circumstances. I have gotten really good over the years at managing it with yoga, sleep, diet, no alcohol etc. I have really prided myself on knowing my triggers, taking my me time when I need it to keep it under control. This pas…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 05:47 PM
3

Im with ya on the whole not co-habitating before engagement/marriage thing. Just tell him that you take commitment very serious, as you are a marriage minded woman, and would like to revisit the invitation at a later date when the two of you are ready to take that step together. Let him know you definitely want to get there with him (and that you aren't flat out rejecting him) but that you really want to make sure this relationship is on the course for marriage first, before you take that next s…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 05:41 PM
2

Men can be so bad at keeping surprises! ^ This I know very well! My SO does the same thing...every gift he gives me barely makes it out of the shopping bag before he gives it to me because he is so excited. Its really sweet! And yeah, regarding the argument, I have definitely taken a lot of time to be introspective (part of why I am here) and really work on what is defective within me that caused it to happen. Whatever happens or doesn't on his end is irrelevant. I am committed to being a better…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/15 05:46 AM
2

Good point. I never thought about a guy giving a shit test to women before deciding whether a commitment was in order.. Yes, while I agree that 15 months is soon, he's the one who has been actively shopping for houses "for the next chapter" (his words not mine) and frequently asks my opinion on houses. Now, granted, I'm a realtor, so it's hard to know whether he's asking my opinion as a potential partner or as a realtor lol. But I try to stay neutral and professional instead of saying "omg I can…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/15 07:53 PM
1

That would be cool! Would love to brainstorm this idea more and see if the Mods can come up with something. The accountability practice takes it (at least for me) from something I just say to something I actively try to do daily
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/15 04:25 PM
1

Oooo good word. I like that better.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/15 04:23 PM
1

You're so right. Since being "her" I moved across the country, am self employed, and living my version of my dream. Those are things I never had the courage to do before. Can I ask you a personal question? How did that event (infidelity) set you back, or did it? Were you married? Thinking about marriage? Married now? How long did it take to feel back to "normal?" I ask because my SO and I got in pretty much the first big fight ever in 15 months this past week and I am shaken up a bit. I honestly…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/15 04:15 PM
2

Not necessarily proud of it or bragging, but before my now alpha significant other, I found myself dating a classic beta. He took a job across the country, because thats where he could find a job. I was not moving to be with him, as he told me that after his 1 year internship, he would get into grad school close to me and we would then continue the relationship and be together. Heres what happened. I remained faithful to him to a T. I went to weddings by myself. I made his trips home about him. …
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/15 02:19 AM
2

Considering I said "shit" today at work, yeah, that I have no idea. Would love some ideas of accountability with this one! I am big with accountability. It is something necessary in my business and industry. I sell real estate and have two different coaches helping me chip away at my business plan every year with daily / weekly / monthly numbers tracking systems. We have weekly coaching calls to find out how on track or not I am, and make adjustments accordingly. I would love to start some sort …
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 09:11 PM
1

By accepting your anxiety, you can then work it away. If you suppress it, it has a tendency to gather steam and then rear it's head worse than before. This. Perfect. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 07:37 PM
2

So, the take away from here is sort of....fake it until you make it? I can display actions of trust...its the anxiety and "holy crap I'm on the edge of a building" feeling that I cannot deal with sometimes. It is literally a paralyzing anxiety at times. I am wondering if there are activities I can do in those moments which keep me on the "trusting" track, verse the "worst case scenario" track. I dont want to have a reaction eveytime something borderline threatening comes up in my relationship. W…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 06:17 PM
1

I have not! i will look into it.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 06:12 PM
3

I'm seriously overwhelmed with such a thorough, generous response. I want to respond to all points, but dont want to type another novel. I can't tell you enough how thankful I am. I have reached out to my therapist, my mother, my aunt - ANYONE - to understand this better, and no one has gotten through to me like this has. I think it is also hard because my Mom and aunt are not RPW and a lot of my friends dont adopt this mindset. So, I can now see what a supportive / influential community this is…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 06:12 PM
2

This is awesome - and incredibly courageous of you to keep going and trusting. I have to say, reading your experience, I would have called deal breaker somewhere within there, but those are just my hard limits, and not everyone else's. I can say, though, that the love I experience with my significant other is worth it. I used to go into dating with a set of standards and a list. And, while I still have standards, I also understand he is human and I want to work together with him through anything…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 06:00 PM
3

Yes, I unfortunately have always had trust issues. Although, not always in a "He's going to cheat on me" kind of way. It more or less has come down to me trusting that another human being, besides myself, knows whats best for myself. This manifests in all other relationships, as my brother more or less was never a big brother to me, and my parents spent a lot of time on him getting him straight, so I was always left on my own to sort of navigate for myself. It worked out, but what it taught me i…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 05:25 AM
5

This is one of the best explanations of trust anyone has given me. I have struggled talking to friends, family, my mom, my best girl friends, and even my therapist. I will admit, the trust issue is mine. I have never fully known how to trust another person. I know what it means on paper, but I dont know what it means in action. This is the perfect example. I like how you described it as an insurance policy. When someone is human and fucks up once, it isn't the end of the world. Before, to me, it…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 05:16 AM
1

Holy moly - I did not expect such thorough responses regarding trust but they are both dead on and amazing information. I intend to respond to both once I'm in front of the computer!
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 03:58 AM
0

Nice! I live in Laguna Beach and work in Irvine :) I used to live up in Malibu though, so I understand your pain!
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/14 12:52 AM
2

Just chiming in to say hi from OC :) LA traffic sucks
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/14 11:50 PM
1

Glad to see so many other women at least have words about moving in with someone without a ring. I'm a huge advocate of no co-habitating before marriage. And, just understand that if he does propose to you the year you move in together, you are the exception and not the rule. Id like to hear from some women who moved in with their SO and got a ring less than a year later. Seriously, would love to be proved wrong here..
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/14 11:46 PM
2

So, did you pick out the ring yourself with any sort of indication or preference from her? Just curious what the norm is in situations like this. I think every girl has a preference...whether thats reality or not, who knows.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/14 04:26 PM
1

I honestly usually just go get manicures. Its the only time I dont royally mess up my nails and then I just pay for a polish change (for like 5 bucks) the week later. I dont get a manicure every time, but I do like my nails professionally filed and painted. Keeps it clean!
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/14 05:50 AM
1

whoa! how did that make you feel though? I can imagine that as a male, this is a pretty nerve racking experience for you, too...and with that reaction? aww I would have been heart broken for you... but yeah, I would be just as nervous!
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/14 05:49 AM
2

I don't know what it's called but it's some OPI 7 day polish! It has a gel like feel, but without the light and costs way less! It lasted 7 days for me before I had to get a polish change :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/14 01:03 AM
1

Thanks for the reply. Sorry if I wasn't clear. WhAt I mean by marriage minded simply means that we are both dating in hopes to find "the one" and not just casually dating. Marriage is on our minds. However, with that being said, it's not as if we both have jumped to the conclusion that either of us are "the one" just because each of us are searching for that. I suppose for dating more than a year, it's a good sign. Maybe I haven't been in tune to what a serious future conversation is or not bc w…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/14 12:11 AM
3

true, okay!
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/14 06:36 PM
2

Yes! This!
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/14 06:33 PM
7

Laser. Hair. Removal. My savior.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/14 05:31 AM
3

I will refrain from my personal opinion either way on this one. I personally love children. Cant wait to start my own family. However, that won't be in the cards for the next 5 years, by choice. There were a few things I think the author missed, though: 1) Yes, your highest earning potential is in your 40's. I agree. But using the excuse that it will allow you to put more money away for retirement? Anyone who has brushed up on finances 101 and has taken their retirement seriously knows that its …
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 10:24 PM
2

I really didn't mean it that way. Although, I can see how it reads that way. Are there not some RP males who are married or in LTR? This question was mostly aimed at them.
/r/askTRP13/09/14 09:41 PM
1

Yes, I actually am :) I just found the RPW sub-reddit and it makes so much sense for me. I was just curious what an RP male looks for or qualifies as a quality RP woman. Aside from making sure his physical needs are taken care of and not "shit testing" him. Lets say you have all of those qualities in a person...what qualities tip your LTR over from just a relationship to a potential lifelong partnership?
/r/askTRP13/09/14 07:51 PM
2

Probably the most simple statement with the biggest impact. Thanks
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/14 04:43 PM
1

Maybe the latter. I'm sorry, I am not trying to be neurotic. Im just a little confused and hurt by that. I'm not really going to think about it anymore. It is what it is. When the time comes to re-evaluate, I'll make a decision then.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/14 09:18 PM
1

I would definitely love to marry him, that is true. I guess I would rather him be consistent with what he is telling me.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/14 09:08 PM
2

Thanks! I will keep this in mind. As I said, I am in no actual hurry, so to speak, I just dont want this to move to one of those long term relationships turned stale because of no plans for the future or no long term commitment.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/14 03:38 PM
1

:) Awesome. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/14 12:55 AM
3

Thanks for this! My gut is telling me he likely wouldn't in the next 6 months since he just started a new job and I am 6 months into a new job. Stability is important to both of us and we have both made some pretty big moves within the last 6 months. I could be wrong, and maybe he will completely surprise me. I don't necessarily have a sharp timeline since I am 25. As long as I am reading the signs clear. Unfortunately, marriage has come up very vaguely in last relationships, but not to this deg…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/14 09:02 PM
3

Sweetie, do you wear a backless little black dress without any panties to go out and not expect to get your ashes hauled? Of course not. I will admit, I have no idea what that means, but I did laugh out loud :) I will recommend that book to him. We have already discussed/read the 5 love languages, which tells me that this relationship/communication is important to him. I am working on becoming a better RPW, which takes work! Thanks for the advice! Will read up on it. EDIT: I guess on the subject…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/14 06:05 PM
1

Ahh really :-D. I just dont want to get too excited or jump to conclusions because it would be heart breaking if I found out I made something out of nothing, ya know?
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/14 04:59 PM
6

I know this isn't very RPW, but I was in a similar situation recently. It was the elephant in the room. I wasn't emotional or needy about it. I simply told him that I love him, I appreciate him but X is important to me in my sex life. I understand if he doesn't want to do X, but I won't be going the rest of my life without it. And I would appreciate him telling me up front if it is never going to change, so we both have a chance to find partners more sexually compatible. It has since changed. TL…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/14 10:37 PM
3

I was on the pre-med track, as well. It made me miserable, and to be honest, I wasn't very good at it. Ask yourself what attracted you to being a doctor? Was it the patient care? Was it the salary? For me, I always wanted to be able to take care of my family and contribute. I thought that was one of the best ways. My focus shifted towards something else that has remained extremely fulfilling. I sell real estate full time. Yes, it is a commission only job, but extremely rewarding. Although I dont…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/14 04:15 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/14 10:05 PM
1

I'm totally going to buy it today! :-D We have agreed to not live together prior to marriage. But you are spot in your recommendation because the last thing I want to do is be engaged/married and secretly wonder for the rest of my life whether this was a mutual choice, or a simple appeasement. I will have to trust that 1) He heard me 2) Remain true to my intentions and boundaries and 3) Remain patient with him while simultaneously working on becoming a better partner for him every day.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/14 06:23 PM
1

Thanks! I have done this once. I am hopeful that having the conversation once is enough, as to not be naggy or emotional about the subject. All of his friends are either engaged or married. I would like to think that the thought of marriage and a family in his own life has certainly crossed his mind, outside of the conversation him and I have had, since all of his closest friends are also in that chapter of their life? I dont want to make unfair assumptions, or expect him to be a mind reader.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/14 06:01 PM
1

Thank you for this. I will read this article later today. This sounds perfect, and along the lines of how the conversation initially went. We have been dating just under a year, so the conversation has come up, although not in a sense of "Hey, lets go ring shopping." Thanks for your helpful input. TL;DR: Is having the conversation once enough? I would think so, otherwise it leans to nagging territory?
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/14 06:00 PM
2

I used to do that all the time, and then I realized that I was becoming the man in the relationship, trying to do everything on my own, and then in turn, resenting my partner for having to "do it all". It was totally my fault for getting those results. So, I sit back and let him take care of me. I did offer politely to alternate driving, or to see if he needed anything. Of course, he politely declined. We had fun the whole time! And it made me feel special that he was willing to be that for me. …
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/14 06:29 PM
3

I think tone and body language definitely play a role...but so does context. At least for me, I might not directly say "Wow! This is the best restaurant I have ever been to! Thank you!" but rather would be something less obvious like "The chicken here is phenomenal...how did you find this place?!". I have always been a "leader" in past relationships, which obviously failed and didn't work...but now I really enjoy finding out ways to let him lead, or let him be in control. Even if its just the sm…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/14 05:34 AM
7

It sounds to me like he is not 100% confident that the decisions he has made or will make are what will make you happy. Or possibly he has caught some grief in the past for a decision he took charge on? Only you know this. Regardless, have you tried being encouraging when he does make decisions? Even if it is something small and seemingly unimportant like picking the restaurant, I usually always let him choose and comment on what a great choice it was, even if I have had a better meal elsewhere.…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/14 04:45 AM
1

This is perfect.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/14 11:54 PM
2

spot on
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/14 10:57 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter