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[–]gprime3125 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There is nothing wrong with following your dreams. To hell with everyone else, you have one of the most important jobs in the world. Be proud of it.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You have to decide where your convictions lie. Do you want to be that stability and comfort for your family or does what other people think matter more than the love of your life? This is simple really. Decide.
[–]BlackWind136 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
My wife did not want to be a housewife when we first met.
A bit about my wife. She grew up raise excessively by her divorcee mother. Her mother always told her not to 'depend on a man'. So she truly believe that. She had an extremely unhealthily relationship with her mother where she was her mothers only 'friend'.
When we first moved in together, I brought up the fact that ideally, in the future I would prefer that my wife not have a career, that she only keep jobs. Ideally I would like to be the sole provider. At first she was very opposed to these ideas since it went against everything her parent taught her.
As time progressed since she now lived with me rather then her mother, her mothers hold slowly faded. She asked me how I though it would work if I was sole provided. I told her if I made X dollars alone, she could stay home and take care of the children and cook and keep the housework. We both like having homecooked meals and a clean house. I grew up with a clean house, she did not. Once she saw how much better clean was then cluttered she agreed she liked it too.
We are now married at the point where once we have secured a large enough 'nest egg' we do not plan on my wife having a full time steady job. She has dabbled in teaching as an adjunct professor with 1 or 2 classes max. She want to not work now. She want to be a housewife. It seems like it what she always wanted, she seems happier knowing she doesnt have to stress about work.
Now I just need to man up hit that magic number we talked about and agreed too. However, I recently changed that number to be a bit higher so I can ensure that we keep up the lifestyle we are living now.
As for being looked down upon. Just remember how much happier you are than career women.
[–][deleted] 0 points0 points0 points 11 years ago | Copy Link
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[–]hawthornevine3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
While it's wonderful that you're happy with your lifestyle, I don't really think it applies here. OP is sure of what she wants and it doesn't include a career. There's no need to tell her there are happy career women - society already shoves that in her face enough.
[–]SoftHarem2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Are the men happy?
[–][deleted] -1 points-1 points-1 points 11 years ago | Copy Link
[–]SoftHarem5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If any of them were RP this would not be the case.
[–][deleted] 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago | Copy Link
[–]SoftHarem1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It isn't a big deal for women to have jobs, it is a big deal for them to have careers, especially ones as demanding as being a Doctor. RP men have no desire to compete with your employer for your time, and because they are by definition high value - they don't have to.
[–]ba55fr33k0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
careers and education give women high value.. having someone interesting to talk to and inspiring to work on projects with is invaluable
how is being 'RP' automatically making you 'high value'?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I think it's great that we live in a day and age where a woman can actually choose a career or kids. But please, don't mistake the positivity of that choice as meaning "I can have a full-fledged career and happy, healthy kids!". I think it is really great that some women choose to not have children and instead, focus on a career. But, that wasn't the point of /u/BlackWind13 's post, so why are you commenting in a manner that doesn't contribute to the conversation?
[–][deleted] 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
/u/BlackWind13 was speaking to the OP, not to or about women in general. OP, because she wants to be a SAHM, is going to be happier than she would be as a career woman, especially a career woman who felt that she had to pick the career over her true passions.
Edit: thanks for the gold! Wooo!
[–]BlackWind131 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This exactly was my point. And to voice she is not alone in her desires. Only though her action and showing she does not care about society BS feministic believe that housewives are some how not as valued. Women who are brave enough to be a housewife are sexy. They are confident about themselves and stand behind their man.
[–][deleted] 3 points3 points3 points 11 years ago | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Are you saying SAHM's are lazy gold diggers? Are you even a mom? Please explain your comment better.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
So you ARE saying that SAHM are lazy gold diggers. I find that pretty insulting as a SAHM who runs her ass off day and night to take care of a family.
[–]BlackWind130 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Deleted huh? Good job /u/HappyWifeLife
.... I like this subreddit.....
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I asked you to clarify what you meant and all you said was the same thing. I was asking you if you thought this way or it was others perceiving you.
[–]DianaDewAsmr0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
You read it wrong, and the other commenter got the point exactly.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
It would have been more beneficial to you to have explained yourself a little better than just repeating the same thing you already said. I was asking you to clarify IN CASE I was reading you wrong.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I did ask. I said "Are you saying XYZ, please clarify" and you responded by saying the exact same thing you'd already said.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Luckily for me, everyone has had me pegged as a SAHM since I was a kid playing with dolls. So, I never had to deal with negativity from family.
I came right out and told my now-husband that I wanted to be a SAHM if he and I decided to have children while we were dating. (Sidenote: I think it's so important to hash out some of the "life" details with your SO before you get too involved or tie the knot. Things don't always work out the way you two might have talked it out, but it's nice to know you both have the same ideals and some common ground.) I laid out my reasons for wanted that and told him about all the ways I could positively contribute to our household if I stayed at home. He said that he wasn't sure he wanted to have children, but that, if he did, he also wanted them to be raised by either parent at home. We still haven't finalized if/when we're going to have kids, mostly because we're both young (23/24) and we are figuring several life things out (where to settle, should we go back for more school, what lifestyle do we want to live, etc.). He has expressed that my honesty about being a SAHM was a huge relief, because he didn't have to worry about playing any guessing games with me.
[–]DianaDewAsmr0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good luck with that you sound like you have lots of things figured out :)
Sounds good. I still have to decide what I want but ultimately I really think I'd want to, possibly keeping a little side income (I get some revenue from Youtube now, it would be cool if I continued).
Good for you! You and your SO will have a successful relationship.
I would very happily become a SAHM if my SO and I ever have kids, but my family would likely exile and/or shoot me out of disappointment. They feel like my "talent" shouldn't be wasted when I could have a career and make so much money. It's not going to be fun if it ever comes up.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My mom's goal for me was to become a lesbian because men are trouble, and she really stressed my education (money making, I don't know). My dad also definitely stresses my education, and I'm not sure how he feels about my relationship at all.
The rest of the family is very much pro-career.
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[–]gprime3125 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlackWind136 points7 points8 points (13 children) | Copy Link
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[–]hawthornevine3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SoftHarem2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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[–]SoftHarem5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]BlackWind131 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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