When he falls short of his goal, remind him of when he has succeeded.

[deleted] · 2015-09-07T22:41:19+00:00

beautiful post. practicing gratitude, support and love with our partners is the cornerstone of a strong relationship.

try not to give your husband grief, or yourself grief, or anyone grief. why tear anyone down? making a conscious effort to be sincere in our support and praise of our partners is important, and it starts when we make a conscious effort with ourselves, too. part of being a good partner is creating a loving environment internally that naturally extends to our husband (although the fake-it-til-you-make-it approach can work sometimes, too).

we are all really doing our best with what we have and what we know. there is something to be learned in every experience, whether we fall short or succeed wildly. believe it, share it, and trust.

Washiface · 2015-09-07T23:09:05+00:00

Really good to read this and have a reminder. My husband has recently been made redundant and is slowly losing his self esteem. Been a brain reset for me that I need to up my ante with support and encouragement!

d3gu · 2015-09-08T00:58:47+00:00

This is a fantastic attitude to have - not only with your boyfriend/husband/partner, but also with your peers, family and friends.

Self esteem is something we assume everyone else has. But it's not true! Even the most successful and confident person still needs an ego boost sometimes! And as their partner/girlfriend/wife/friend, you are the best person to give it to them (as I think it has double 'points' as coming from a place of love and respect, as opposed to say, from a colleague where it may just be coming from a position of professionalism or friendliness).

I actually use this with my clients all the time (I'm a counsellor), so say they come to me feeling very low and down on themselves, say they feel shitty about themselves? I'll ask them how they have been, and if they have made a progress of some kind, I'll say, 'Hey I'm really proud of you, well done!' (because I am; I often feel weirdly maternal towards my clients, read into that what you will) - and this is a 'triple whammy': 1. They are pleased I approve (thus strengthening the therapeutic bond), 2. They are learning to accept compliments (thus learning to be ok with who they are), and 3. Their esteem boosts and they feel happier with themselves (because someone was proud of them).

Supporting your loved ones is awesome! Even if it's just saying 'hey you look lovely today' - just make sure you are being genuine and it's coming from an honest place (e.g. for the right reasons - don't do it to be manipulative)

People will be attracted to you because you are a positive person to be around, and make them feel good about themselves. In turn, this will make you feel good about yourself. Before you know it, you'll be surrounded by good people (as opposed to negative people, who bring the mood down with sulking and selfishness). Your partner will see you as his/her 'safe place' (which is what we are going for - yeh?), and someone to confide in. At the same time, you have to be honest and make sure not to coddle or spoil your partner, but also make sure not to kick them when they are down! There is a time and place for criticism, e.g. your partner lost his job? OK, maybe don't mention that big holiday you want. Partner got the flu? Maybe don't ask them to decorate the bathroom. Partner didn't get that big promotion? Maybe don't complain about how much you hate your job today. It's all about making your partner feel better when they feel rubbish. Say you didn't get the grade you wanted in a work qualification? Would it help if your SO mentioned how great he did? NO! It would make you feel like crap.

Title	When he falls short of his goal, remind him of when he has succeeded.
Author	atl_alternative
Upvotes	26
Comments	5
Date	September 7, 2015 10:28 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3k0spo/when_he_falls_short_of_his_goal_remind_him_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/when-he-falls-short-of-his-goal-remind-him-of-when.166438 https://theredarchive.com/post/166438

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