I want to have sex with my LDR boyfriend but I'm too shy to?

[deleted] · 2017-02-25T04:09:55+00:00

Why the hell are you in a long distance relationship?!!! It's not even real!

The fact that you're afraid to meet an internet guy from America while you're in Australia suggests that you're also afraid to meet real life people from Australia. Get over this because the mating game will not become easier as you age...

Honestly for you it's just a matter of being okay with feeling sexy in front of men. There are no unicorn men neither are there unicorn women. This fear is what drives you to seek non-physical relationships. That's Blue-Pill.

Listen to the other comments when they say that your ldr won't work in the long run.

Focus on finding men that live near you because I promise 100% you will be able to find what you want/need locally. Cut yourself off from this guy's validation/attention and start doing business in your own market for real

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-02-25T03:27:16+00:00

LDR=train wreck. Just don't. You have not been dating. You have been corresponding. It's very different.

[deleted] · 2017-02-25T04:30:32+00:00

This whole thing is concerning.

1) You've never met him. It's one thing to try to make an LDR work once you've already established an intimate relationship close distance, but this is just a train-wreck waiting to happen. There's also the fact that you won't REALLY know what he looks like until you meet him in person. It's possible to only show your best face/body angles during Skype calls. The Tinder effect.

2) Do you have plans to close the distance in the future? Real, tangible plans? If this is just a feel-good moment for the both of you, I'd caution against it.

[deleted] · 2017-02-25T05:45:47+00:00

I think an LDR can work. Even if an in-person friendship/relationship was never established.

My husband and I were in a 5 to 6 year LDR, separated by a few hundred miles. All of our communication before dating was online. We did have some mutual friends, however, since we both went to the same college (he graduated before I started.) It worked out fine!

That being said...

I highly advise against having sex with him. You need some kind of tangible commitment before doing that. I'm especially wary since you say he's "quite experienced" -- I've noticed that the more experienced a guy is, the pushier he is about sex. Don't let him push you into sex and then move on to the next girl in a year or so. And definitely don't have sex the very first time you visit with him!

Willow-girl · 2017-02-25T15:24:42+00:00

Hon, if you haven't met in person yet, you aren't "dating." I think some of your insecurity may stem from the fact that you really don't know this person (nor does he know you). You each know only the idealized versions of your selves that you've presented to each other. You won't even know if there is any mutual attraction or chemistry until you meet "IRL."

It's a bad idea to get deeply invested in a "relationship" before you've met the person in person. It's probably too late now, but try to go into this meeting with as few expectations as possible. And don't feel obliged to jump into sex if things don't feel right (beware the "sunk cost fallacy").

[deleted] · 2017-02-25T03:20:16+00:00

You probably are making a mistake, since:

1) You don't even know the guy -- your only interactions have been online, and trust me, you don't really get to know a person or know how you really feel about them until you actually meet them in person.

2) Chances are, you aren't going to have a successful relationship with the dude since he lives in another country. Having sex now will just make you attached to someone who will probably just move on after he's had his fun with you. And preserving your n-count is a good idea for more stable future LDR's (i.e. a husband)

3) I'm not a psychologist, but maybe dealing with body dysmorphia first may be a better plan. Sex can be very emotional, especially for women, and it may exacerbate your problems.

minarette · 2017-02-25T18:10:39+00:00

Thank you so much guys for responding

minarette · 2017-02-25T18:10:54+00:00

Or ladies rather.

minarette · 2017-02-25T18:17:54+00:00

What would your advice be?

Lonelydouche92 · 2017-02-28T14:39:45+00:00

I was in the same sitation as you 4 years ago. Virgin, shy, and talking with strangers online to get my fill of romantic interaction without the "risk"(fear) of a real life relationship. I dont regret talking to people online, it sort of helped me "test the waters" of dating with people that i could then delete out of my life and forget about with ease because i never got too attatched. I met my husband a few months later, and we now have 2 kids. I think the only problem with what you are doing is how attatched you are getting, and already planning to have sex. You dont know this person yet, people can become ANYBODY online which is why people do this. Ask yourself why he isnt dating someone in real life (if you know he isnt)? P.S. If you are having even the slightest doubt about sex, DONT DO IT! You cant take it back, you have waited this long.

Title	I want to have sex with my LDR boyfriend but I'm too shy to?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	17
Date	February 25, 2017 1:53 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5w1nej/i_want_to_have_sex_with_my_ldr_boyfriend_but_im/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-want-to-have-sex-with-my-ldr-boyfriend-but-im.167166 https://theredarchive.com/post/167166

Comments