Hi everybody please don’t be rude with me english, i’m french and my english is very bad :) I’ m in a relationship with a boy. I know him since 4 years. At the beginning is was not really serious. Is a dj, he knows a lot of girls and I’ m more an indoor girl. 3 years ago, we began a complicated story. We saw each other three time a week, but it was unofficial. We didn’t know if he wanted to be in « couple » and I didn’t know if I could trust him. In the summer of 2018, we took some space but I was terribly in love with him. We continued to write and sleep with each other often. I went with some friends in september to Bali with some friends. Before I left, he told me he wanted to find a new balance between us after my trip. I was very happy to ear that and took time for myself. When I came back he simply gosth me for 10 days. I was terribly depressed. Finally we saw each other and he confessed me he saw an other girl when I was in Bali. He said to me he met her since that three weeks. It was terrible to me and I broke up with him. He cam Back to me and told me he knew now I was the one and he wanted to create something real with me. Very quickly he changed and behaved like a real boyfriend. Considerate etc. I finally accepted and appreciate his honesty and told to myself he was lost and that it could happened to me to.

But then, I felt something different on him, to be fleeing months after that .. I asked myself a lot of questions. One day, he left his mailbox open on my computer and I opened the Pandora’s box. First, i found out he cheated on me with other girls since we officially got together. But ever more shocking, I discovered 3 months of daily WhatsApp conversation with a famous French actress. I told him about her months ago and dared to laugh at me while we taking a break : «  I don’t fuck neither you, nor V.. nor Penelope Cruz » ... He fucked her once in july 2018 and then she was in Asia all the summer and they started a hot letter writing relationship on WhatsApp. She is 10 years older than him, than me too. And she’s a shitty actress but sexy. when I was in Bali, she came back from Asia and they saw each other all september. He stopped this relation when I got home... When I read that I was devastated. If I had known that right away, I would never have started anything with him. Plus I found out that he allowed himself to slept with two other girls and flirting with some because he was not sure to really want to be with me... I totally blew my mind and left him. But you know when you’re deeply in love with someone you are really dumb too .. he was devastated, he begged me to get back with him to try one last chance. He told me he was an asshole, he didn’t know what he wanted but now he was sure he loved me and he was going to prove it to me. And as weird as it sounds.. : it’s true. It’s been a year that he changed completely. I’m still very anxious about by all of this and I can stalk his computer or phone compulsively because I’m totally scared. But he understand me he calm me he listen to me. He know all the pain he gave to me ... he show me everyday he love me and he want to make me happy. He no longer hides me to his family or friends and we are going to live together. But I can’t stop to be scared and to compare me to this actress.. when I see her at Tv or in magazines It’s very painfull. I find it hard to believe that is not going to hurt me anymore and I become terribly jealous and paranoid. He is very patient but he would like to me start trusting him a little... I can’t stand making me sick like this and and having fits with him anymore. But I don’t want to break up I want build with him.. please help me if you have advice.

Thanks a lot !