“First of all, fuck you I have 5 kids, they are my life and they could become your burden, but not likely you fat (or skinny) piece of shit. I’m into dadbods, for example Jason Mamoa. Despite being decidedly below average attractiveness, I am not interested in your slightly above average attractiveness, like, God, just fuck off. I hope at this point you have discovered that I am truly a catch and just an amazingly pleasant person to be around. Fuck off but also marry me but also fuck off.”

Irresistible!!