Girlfriend wants to go to Trivia with MY friends w/o ME.

RedAsBlood · 2016-08-01T05:28:30+00:00

Mate guarding is the worst thing you can do in a relationship. Its about as beta as you can get.

That being said, do you trust your friends? Is it a group of guys that invited her? I find it a bit weird that your "friend" invited your girl to an event without you.

I think you have reason to be suspicious, but you handled the whole thing horribly.

Never mate guard. Have an abundance mentality and a few backup options available. It sounds like you may be short a few friends and a girlfriend soon.

WolfenSatyr · 2016-08-01T06:03:56+00:00

Ditch the girl and your friends.

Grow some balls while you're at it. Your first text should have been something along the lines of "have fun" and nothing else. No response. No contact. No matter how many times she tries. Why? She's not your girl.

jonknownothing · 2016-08-01T06:34:23+00:00

You are an insecure little bitch. Who the fuck ask their friend to de-invite someone because you feel insecure?

Just move on with your life and let her do her own stuff

DennisReynoldsAMA · 2016-08-01T05:33:40+00:00

Tell Brian that he can fuck your girl now. Then break up with your girl cause she clearly stated she doesn't care about what you say. She doesn't respect you and thinks you need her. to show abundance tell her that it's over. Get a different girl, and more girls after that... You get my point

from_the_ashes_me · 2016-08-01T07:47:34+00:00

Let's approach this from a different angle. Since you already have plans and are busy that evening, what WOULD you be comfortable with her doing while you're out? If you're not comfortable with her going to a trivia night (public event, usually for a charity, usually over at a relatively early hour, involves a group of friends-a lot of witnesses to anything that happens since there are usually 8 or 10 people at each table) the list of things you ARE comfortable with is probably pretty short.

what do you think did i do/say the right thing?

No. You can't mate guard, and you can't control people. The best you can do is to establish and communicate a realistic set of boundaries, and be prepared to deal with things (dread, soft next, hard next) when and if those boundaries are crossed.

is this girl in the right or in the wrong?

At this point, it doesn't matter. You basically threw out an ultimatum... it's a little late to be asking if you were overreacting.

is this a normal thing in relationships?

I'm going guarantee that over the course of any LTR, there will be times where one or the other of you will attend an event solo. Work events, previous engagements, business travel, a mate might have one extra ticket to a show/sporting event/concert/ whatever. It happens.

do you think this is purely my insecurity?

You trust your friends, and you trust her. (your words) If it's not insecurity, what exactly is it?

was it right to reveal to her that i would tell my friend to de-invite her, or should i have kept that to myself?

No. You should have absolutely kept that to yourself. That sounds petty, like something a grade school kid would do. It's right on par with "I'm taking my toys and going home." You're supposed to be above all that. Stoic, amused indifference, abundance mentality, confident... Your response was none of those things.

what would you have done?

Honestly, in my group of friends, I wouldn't have had a problem with it. The core group of my friends have been close for 15+ years. My SO couldn't be in safer company if I hired somebody to watch over her.

"Have fun, babe. Don't be surprised if I wake you up when I get home." Smack her on the ass, and go do whatever it is you have to do that evening that keeps you from going with your friends to trivia.

Edit: Formatting

SexySmexxy · 2016-08-01T14:40:58+00:00

You went Bitch mode.

Don't know why people come here and post this shit, you're just gonna get eaten alive.

RatBastardJones · 2016-08-01T17:18:40+00:00

Me: i think ur acting like a baby, but you also need to think real hard about why she wants to go without you.

Title	Girlfriend wants to go to Trivia with MY friends w/o ME.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	19
Date	August 1, 2016 5:05 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4vkxe0/girlfriend_wants_to_go_to_trivia_with_my_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girlfriend-wants-to-go-to-trivia-with-my-friends.172880 https://theredarchive.com/post/172880

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