Confidence is not internal

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August 27, 2013

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Title Confidence is not internal
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 22
Comments 21
Date 27 August 2013 02:28 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
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[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

Well, confidence comes from knowing you can do it 'cause you've done it before. "Internal" confidence is a pipe dream.

[–]RNAofYouListening0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I understand where you're coming from of course, but I wonder what advice would you give to someone who's afraid of doing something for having never done it before?

How can someone temporarily numb their pride and put themselves out there to try something new, even when failure is a distinct possibility?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd tell them to try it anyway. To expect the worst so they can only be happy or content if the worst doesn't happen.

I'd get them to understand and accept they're gonna be nervous. That they might fail. And that life won't end because they couldn't get what they wanted. They might grow to want something else.

I think this would be good enough to numb anyone's pride and convince them to go try something new.

[–]AlwaysLateToThreads8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I can get with this view on confidence. I never liked the view of confidence being some mystic inner force that attracts women. To me the that confidence is just a loaded word or a buzzword that people say because it sounds cool, but telling someone to be confident doesn't help.

Be strong, dominant, selfish, aloof, humorous, kind, funny, loving, etc.

Those words are much more useful than telling someone to be "confident" and to work on their mythical inner force. Working on outer easy to see qualities like strength and presentation will lead to better results. And then confidence will grow as a byproduct of success. In other words, confidence isn't the means to the end. It's the end as a result of the means.

[–]neXianXavia6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the reminder that I need to do more, and think less.

Holy shit I haven't been doing enough.

[–]md6195 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm amazed how many people don't understand this. I got into an argument about the importance of spinning plates in order to keep up your confidence and abundance mentality, i.e adhering to Roissy's 7th commandment. The person I was arguing against was convinced that this was a "weak" and even "pathetic" way to get confidence, and that you should just somehow naturally feel this way. You can be happy and accept who you are, but what most sane men can't do it invent your own reality. Not for long at least. You either have value and options and act accordingly or you don't.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

To me this just says that internal confidence comes from outside sources. You can tell someone to "just be confident in yourself" all you want, but if they're a shitty person and they know it then they have no reason to be confident so they won't be. My own internal confidence comes from knowing that I'm the shit, I know this because of my accomplishments.

[–]Endorsed Contributorpontifx1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

While not internal it's combinatory like all other states of being. If you are a professional cup stacker and you think you are god among ants because you can bend time and STACK DEM CUPZ you can use that same fire to succeed in life because you know the way of being.

I was the best in the world at a few video games, that is what made me successful no joke. I laugh at it now (some of my close friends are the same way and on the same level) because to this day it's been my greatest choice. I determine on a very base level my confidence from things I can replicate anywhere without consent at any time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

Actually, I think it's a little bit of both - internal and external. Getting over a phobia for example, you need to work on your inner demons, and you also need exposure therapy. Exposure therapy without working on your inner self isn't good enough, and working on your inner self without being exposed to your phobia also isn't good enough.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

What is "working on your inner self" supposed to mean?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

As we move forward in life and get older, a lot of us develop some bad ways of thinking and bad habits that act upon bad ways of thinking. Blue pill thinking is fantastic example - not only is blue pill thinking incorrect, many of us have a host of habits that go with that mode of thinking. Feminism of course, is another example of wrong thinking coupled with wrong habits.

Phobias work much the same way. Also Freudian types of things you might have heard like "daddy issues" or "mommy issues."

The older you get, the more tangled the web can be. To quote good 'ol Yoda, "You must unlearn what you have learned."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

It sounds very weird to me that changing the way you think will do anything at all for a phobia.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Re-wiring. You may see it referenced in red pill many times.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I nearly drowned once and whenever water touches my nose, I get a panic reflex, my chest tightens up and I breathe in involuntarily, even if my lungs are already very full.

It has ZERO to do with what I think. I KNOW that nothing's going to happen to me, in a swimming pool where I can stand up. I can even force myself to jump down a 10 meter cliff.

The only thing I can do is expose myself to water around my nose and practice, practice, practice.

Tell me how I am supposed to re-wire this by just thinking. It'd be a lot less work.

[–] points points | Copy

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

a person afraid of heights can go skydiving and enjoy it, but may still be afraid of heights. (I did this.)

This doesn't make any sense at all.

[–] points points | Copy

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What does being afraid of heights mean to you?

[–] points points | Copy

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What if you get so selective that you run out of things?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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