Im just ranting here but who here feels completely helpless? Like no matter how hard I try to be at the 20% area, I still wont make it. Shitty home with shitty parents and grandparents and shitty genetics. Grandparents always asking money for their meds and daily needs while I have to always tiptoe when I want something. Really cant stand the whole passive aggressive stuff, gave it back to them but my parents are also trying to make ends meet giving me always the just endure it shit for 20 years already. Really fucking hate my life due to it. I want to move out on my own but my job really doesnt cut it and finding another job is fucking hard nowadays. I have read 48LoP, Rationale Male, Book of Pook, Dale Carnegie, and all those recommended readings and I admit they do really work. Everyone in my vicinity acknowledges, knows, hates, respects, undermines me all the time but even with all that, my life wont still go exactly as what I imagined. There are times I wished my eyes wont wake up anymore and be forever in this state of imagination of my dream life.

I just fucking hate my life sometimes. Wished I was born to a much more privilage family, not this passive aggressive, low test, low IQ, low drive, piece of shit family. I dont want to kill myself but sometimes I wished I could just start press restart and start over again. Fuxk this shit guys. Really want to cry forever but fuxk this drive of my own to succeed at all cost.

/end rant.
Just venting guys. Really sorry for my post.