A female coworker is telling tons of "light" lies about me to her close friend (probably my future PM) and others to make her life "easier" in the future... how can I protect myself?

sehns · 2017-02-13T13:58:24+00:00

As an employer of a small development studio who doesn't have my head buried in the codebase - the absolute best thing that can happen is an employee coming to me 'concerned' that someone else is not pulling his weight and costing me a lot of money. Removing useless people helps me immensely and helps boost morale of the team. Of course, i'll do my own investigations and question other members in the team about their performance privately in one on ones - but if the story seems consistent then i'll be removing the dead weight.

Just make sure you're coming to your employer not in a bitchy way but in a 'i'm concerned they are not pulling their weight, and are a liability to the company and its bringing the performance of the whole team down with them which reflects poorly on the rest' approach rather than a 'this person pisses me off' approach.

randarrow · 2017-02-13T06:07:07+00:00

Tell your boss. Let them sort it out. If they don't, leave.

UEMcGill · 2017-02-13T13:30:05+00:00

You're a code monkey, so you have a built-in advantage. By your nature you document your work.

Keep this in mind when you communicate with her. Email any communication where you may be held to task for work with her. Even a simple "hey let me know if you need help understanding xyz..."

Laziness can't stand the light of day or documentation. Give her a specific action, then hold her accountable. You'll have an email trail to account for it. Eventually she'll make a mistake and try to bury it, and you'll be able to cover your ass. Your work should be impeccable particularly with your boss. Socially speak well of her, or be ambivalent. Her reputation and laziness will catch up to her.

I'm an engineer who's had to deal with shitty people for 20+ years.

[deleted] · 2017-02-13T08:38:05+00:00

This question is better suited for /r/cscareerquestions or /r/programming. You don't really want to be employing strategy or ideology based on sexuality at the workplace. So in this context from your perspective it shouldn't matter that she's a woman because she's a co-worker first. But yeah ask those subs, someone has been in th3 exact same situation as you quaranteed and they can advice you on how to act in a professional setting.

vandaalen · 2017-02-13T05:29:32+00:00

Examples?

Ranger_Mitch · 2017-02-13T11:04:00+00:00

You haven't mentioned what kind of lies she supposedly tells about you?

lord-denning · 2017-02-13T17:07:16+00:00

Welcome to the world of politics. You now need to think of your job as having a percentage split between the actual job and managing the politics. In tough organizations it can be as high as 80% politics. Start adjusting your deliverable timeframes accordingly.

What you do with the balance of the time, is ensure others are around whenever you have a discussion with her, and obsessively follow up each conversation with an email. In fact you may want to move primarily to an email from of communication.

All of this needs to be adjusted to your actual work environment. For example, you don't want to be the one who is called out for playing politics so maybe you just have minutes of your meetings with her. It may also be worthwhile for you to let your boss know about what you are doing and why to get their blessing and to cover you in the future. Good luck.

[deleted] · 2017-02-13T11:19:14+00:00

Start recording every little thing that is passive aggressive.

Even if it's verbal, record what was said, who was there, and when.

After a while (you might need to make up a plausible lie) you need to have an event which "created it all" obviously this will be easier in hindsight.

Obviously make sure it's in private so it's your word against hers.

Then go to your boss and get a complaint on file. Obviously it will be your word against hers and it won't go anywhere. This is fine.

Keep collecting evidence, times and dates, ideally you will be able to get something in writing or with hard evidence.

When push comes to shove you will have:

A) your original complaint which will be in the past at this point

B) Some physical evidence of the shit she's pulling

C) A large list of times, dates and places, and witnesses of shit which corroborates whatever your story is.

None of the 3 would be enough alone, but the presence of each one backs up the other two.

redaftrp · 2017-02-13T15:25:37+00:00

Get everything in writing. No matter why she asks, have her send you emails to document her idiocy. The next time she throws you under the bus, quietly take those emails to your boss and show them what kind of incompetent fuck they hired.

le_king_falcon · 2017-02-13T17:03:04+00:00

You really need to be careful if she it the companies diversity hire. No point getting her fired and the it coming back to bite you whe she tries a suit for workplace sexism.

As others have said establish witnesses and a pattern of shitty behaviour before you even go anywhere near your bosses with it. Make it so that they have a bulletproof reason to let her go without potential blowback.

radioactivities9 · 2017-02-13T21:34:09+00:00

Tell her to her face. She's a woman, probably has never had that happen to her before!

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