I was talking with a friend who does not know anything about trp and does not consciously think about its theories and concepts. We were talking about people and their characteristics and she mentions a few male friends who are natural alphas. She says that they are clearly fall into a different category when compared to other men. She can't explain exactly why, but they're definitely better. She then lists out a few other friends, includes me, and says that though we are great guys we clearly don't fall into the other category. She basically in more words told me that I was a beta.

The thing is I've been trying to live by trp's rules and guides for quite some time now. I've been working on improving myself, focussing on my needs, working on my character and investing time and effort in myself. I try to not care about the opinion of others and focus on being honest and putting myself first. I have been called selfish and sometimes even rude because of this but I've brushed off these comments, seeing them as signs that I am at least going in the right direction.

I've been told I'm in the anger phase and it's quite clear to me now. I am angry. I'm bitter. I'm sad and I'm depressed. I usually am really good at hiding or ignoring it but this comment that my friend made just cut straight through me. It really hurt.

I've been trying all these things to improve my life and the one time we decide to talk about the kind of person I am she tells me I'm a beta. I'm a "great guy" but definitely not an alpha.

Now I'm not assuming that doing all these things automatically makes me an alpha. Obviously. I know it's hard work and a long road but I thought at the very least now I would not so easily be called a beta. At the least no one would be able to look at me and say "yea perfect example of a beta." Let alone by a girl who doesn't even clearly know about these concepts and just has vague ideas about why she's attracted to alphas.

What does she really think of me? If she could so easily tell me this then I must mean nothing to her. Even if it was the truth how do you even say that to your supposed friend? If she had asked me if I found her attractive there is no way in hell I would even think of saying "Well you're a 6 - 6.5 at best. Oh do you remember your friend cathy? Yea she's gorgeous. You, not so much. You're cute sometimes. Maybe." I don't know if I'm hurt more by this or the fact that she called me a beta.

I'm posting this because I'd really appreciate some advice.

Why do I feel so crushed by this?

Did you feel this way during the anger phase?

Am I looking too deep in to her comment?

How do women usually react when you try to discuss trp with them?