I began taking the pill about 3-4 years ago and for the most part it really helped my understanding of the world, but lately I have gotten an extreme case of oneitis despite all the warning signs, it is so bad it has started to influence my direction of career, this was a oneitis I have had sex with repeatedly if that changes anything.

I am in my 20s and for a long time I was un/under-employed occasionally working as an EMT despite having a degree in ecology, and I met my oneitis at an EMT conference about a year ago where we hooked up. Using standard cool/cocky lines it was a pretty clean kill on her, a flight nurse who despite being 40 still was very hot from all the triathlons she does; the sex was wild and raucous. She was willing to do anything and was amazingly focused on my needs ‘do you want me to blow you, or do you want to do me doggy style now?’ anyway, we ended up hooking up the next night as well.

I didn’t see her for a few months and I thought a fair amount about her (I was doing a different girl at the time as well) but chalked it up to a one night stand of sorts. Fast forward we meet again, and I make a move and nothing happens so I move on in my mind.

I get a job in my field finally where I am making decent money (50k) but I have to move to a new state. She finds out and wants to see me before I go, we get together and have sex (this is about 6 months after first time) she says how sorry she was she waited, she didn’t know what she wanted etc etc.

I move away to new job, and from here she starts to call about 1-2 times a week, and its always on her work phone because evidently she is in some child custody battle and her (ex?) husband works for the NSA or something and she is worried he will hack her phone (unlikely, not sure if excuse or if she is dumb) and tells me to NOT ever call/text her real number. Eventually she tells me to not email her either- fwiw she occasionally emails me, she recently wrote me a hand letter as well.

Because of my schedule and travel I get to see my parents/old friends about every 30 days or so for a short weekend, and when I am in the area the nurse is usually always down to see me. We make plans, she shows up, we go into woods slam it out, then go on our way.

The problems are, the kind of forced ‘push/pull’ of me not being able to contact her has somewhat thrown me for a loop, it becomes maddening I can’t just call and have to WAIT for her, sometimes 1 day, sometimes a week. Further, being in a completely new small town its hard to meet people, and I have met a few girls but nothing serious yet, and I think part of my mind is caught up on the familiar.

But the largest part is that my job isn’t bad, about half the time I am outside checking water samples, its simple and slightly interesting, but her being a flight nurse she CONSTANTLY regales me with stories of ‘this rescue on the mountain’ ‘this car crash’ etc etc and remember I was an EMT for many years so I really miss the action. What becomes so hard is when I am in the desert looking for water samples it becomes nearly impossible to not think ‘this sucks, I’d rather be in a helicopter saving people’, but while I was an EMT it never actually crossed my mind to go be a flight nurse.

The insidiousness of my oneitis is that I get CONSTANT reminders of both her, and my ‘potential’ career in that I see a helicopter, or a landing zone on a mountain or something and think about her and ‘what if’ sort of thing. The problem is I would have to go back to school to become a nurse, then work ER/ICU (likely making same or less as I am now) for years, none of which sounds super appealing yet the end stage of flight rescue seems so fulfilling. It is messing with me so bad that I SHOULD like my job, but all I can think about is ‘if I was a flight nurse everything would be perfect, I’d get to travel, see action etc’.

Meanwhile she has really dialed up the rhetoric of ‘I miss you so much’ ‘I am so lucky you are in my life’ ‘don’t find a younger girl now’ ‘don’t forget how real it is between us’ ‘ I feel so open with you’. After she calls I feel a high, but within a day it turns to a major crash.

I’ve been through my share of girls but never had oneitis post-red pill short of this one which is destroying me. It seems so completely stupid that I am losing it for some 40 year old mother who we have wild sex, but that’s whats happening.

Red Flags: Has 3 kids Still married but ‘in process’ of divorce One-way communication In her 40s – hot for now but not forever Serious feelings blocking logic

This was long, but its destroying me, I used to be confident and driven but now I feel broken, confused and directionless.