I dumped a girl a month ago, and tried to get her back a couple weeks ago. All her friends say I'm a huge asshole, she says she can't get over feeling shitty about what I did. How could I get her back?

SweetNectar19 · 2015-06-28T17:10:21+00:00

Can I just be honest here?

Sounds like you were an asshole when you dumped her, and if the roles were reversed id be telling you to not go back to that kind of girl. Don't blame her for having enough of a brain/respect to not go back to you.
She does not want you anymore, you made her feel like shit. Thats not how you treat LTR material. You have learned a lesson, there will be other girls in the future. She is nexting you, and you should do the same with her.
You need to fix your life before trying to handle an LTR, and thats just decent life advise. You seem to be smoking way too much weed, or at least used to, its obvious your unhappy with parts of your life and your smoking to drown those problems out. Face them head on like a true TRP man. (Im not saying don't smoke at all, but you are abusing it just like an alcoholic, help yourself)

From what I see written here this is the advise I can give. Fix yourself and your life before trying to get back the girl. If you really want her back prove that you have changed and are actually going to put some energy into the relationship, otherwise just look for a new girl in the future. Don't blame other people for your own problems.

Nice guys at least get friends, assholes end up with nobody but themselves.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-06-28T13:55:06+00:00

You have to do something self effacing to show that you are sincere. Then you have to make it up to her.

stickfiguresk · 2015-06-28T02:54:31+00:00

Stop it, dummie. Go bang five women. You're going to crucify your SMV on her alter of attention.

SHE'S REPLACABLE

myexile · 2015-06-28T17:10:09+00:00

Thanks for the harsh truth guys. I need it, and I'm glad nobody sugar coated shit.

Xemnas81 · 2015-06-28T02:08:21+00:00

tl;dr 1 basically agree with the first guy in a more long-winded, slightly more tough-love fashion.

edit Man I looked through your post history and feel a bit harsh on my assessment in hindsight, thought you were a total new blooper unplugging. You must be hung up on this girl really bad, because this post is really beta compared to some of your others.

Let's begin.

"Nice guys finish last, assholes finish anywhere ahead."

If you are going to hold onto any form of pathetic just world fallacy like that then betas gon beta and you are beyond our help. We deal with reality as it is.

Straw man fallacy. You're not a 'nice guy' you're a needy, slightly depressed or stressed-out beta with oneitis. I feel for you bro, as I have been there. But I must say things as I see them. And those 'assholes' finishing ahead of you? No they're just alpha who have put the work in to boost their SMV.

This isn't even red pill, but more like hardline BP, although we promote it for not being sentimental special snowflake bullshit: Cracked, David Wong, '6 Harsh Truths'. Read it, tonight if you're up now, tomorrow otherwise.

As for TRP. You need to understand that women's hypergamy will make it incredibly easy for them to move on after you next her. Let's see more

the peak of my pot head phase this year

Dude. This does not communicate high SMV. Read up on Monk Mode. Now.

I dumped her cos I was so stoned I couldn't stand even the smallest piece of bullshit. I was honestly just a pissy person

so you broke Frame, and you wonder why she lost the tingles? Are you sure you're red?

She doesn't want to just jump back into things and says she can't get over feeling shitty and umm after we hang out now

she's dropping cues you need to up your game, pronto

She says she feels she needs to respect herself and that she deserves better than me because I didn't want her then, when she was in love with me basically

i.e. you were something resembling alpha but then when you broke Frame she lost the tingles, now is hamstering her way to next you. I repeat prepare to be replaced by Chad if you don't sort this pot habit and up your Game

TRP just makes me think next her, but I liked her, she had a lot of positive qualities

OK so 2 things

a) I'm not a big fan of RP's Dread, never used it because I was still fairly BP when with my ex, however it works for some.

In your case you went too beta so she probably woke up and stopped being so submissive. I'll need more details on how you got her to 'do anything I wanted'. There becomes a line where you're putting too much Dread on her for her to respect you or get good feels around you. Imo RP is about making gains,s elf mastery and SMV, naturally having women gravitate towards me. If I ever have to force them to with anything more than passive dread and the option to walk if treated like shit, I'll consider myself too beta to hold her down and move on or lower my standards. But that's just me. I'm more morally inclined than many guys spinning plates here

b) You have breakup oneitis, read No More Mr Nice Guy on Abundance Mentality (Chapter 9). I'd possibly recommend sexual moratorium while in Monk Mode for 6 weeks or so, because you're definitely putting pussy on a pedestal here

Thank me later

I'm an over judgmental prick sometimes (just like my dad)

No More Mr Nice Guy Chapters 1-2 and therapy for you on those daddy issues

I thought about dropping some of my dignity and just calling

call her by all means if you plan to be potentially cuckolded down the line. She knows you're not a natural AF now and will hold this against you. She's clearly lost interest.

I'm not saying don't call, I'm in the same issue with my ex (although in my case am willingly re-entering the friend zone) Just be aware you need to seriously up your game in future and ideally make tangible SMV gains if you ever want her to see you as a man again. But in my opinion, you're either 'relegated to the friend zone' now, or she's walked away entirely.

She did come home with me 3 days after I reached out after the 3 weeks no contact I put her on

3 day rule, you're getting played. edit: wait elaborate? 'came home'? Like you walked her from the bus stop or to your house? Did you have makeup sex? Was it platonic? Did you talk? See, this would have been your opportunity to project the new you. I hope you didn't fuck up

I think her friends gave her shit for it, said she needed to respect herself more

Yes because you're beta in their eyes

Like I say I don't promote Dread, but if you're going to do it, you need presence, high SMV and Frame or you just look like a kid trying to boss his mom about. You're making so many rookie mistakes here pal

Why I haven't gone BP in some way to try to get her back in one last ditch (since her and her friends just grouted from my university and I won't really see them again)

Good, you fucked up and need distance from her to get your Game back.

She hasn't forgive me or gave me any opportunity to make things okay between us

Yes because she's lost interest, sorry to break it to you buddy

I didn't break up for her for any malicious reason like to go after any other girls or shit

Doesn't matter, she's lost interest. In fact your reason for a breakup was basically admitting that you were too beta to hold her down and needed time to sort yourself out. But women rarely wait unless you're the real AB.

I played video games and just checked out from reality for a little

MONK MODE

focussed on my schoolwork and finals

good call but attraction is amoral, don't expect her to wait, that's not how they work

Her friends all hate me, massive uphill battle ahead if I try to fix things

a) You are way too needy, you're projecting beta all over the place

b) Yes they don't respect you/see you as low-value, what have yo been doing to improve yourself in NC? Have you worked out at all?

If I fix things and even if she is near unicorn status in my mind

oneitis

AWALT and what if she fucks me over in the future and I wish I had just walked right now when I still have my dignity and when her friends at least see me as an asshole

Yes, she might fuck you over, especially if you keep up this routine. NAWALT imo but treat all guns as loaded. SMV is on the sliding scale. Yours needs work. Again abundance mentality bro, you're so emotionally invested in this one girl, she lost interest, why are you chasing her like a lost puppy? Seriously man you sound like you're barely through the 1st phase.

Read what I mentioned and the sidebar material. Marcus Aurelius' meditations on stoicism was recommended to me. Especially read IllimitableMan on Monk Mode. **Ditch the pot habit as top priority, You are reliant on an external source for the high [addiction], in the same way you are almost certainly reliant on women's validation for the high hence why this break is killing you. If anything shows that you have lost Frame it is addiction. You can recover and master your impulses and uncomfortable emotions to become a better, more respectable man, but not while you're in denial. We cannot help you until you own your addiction.

For similar reasons, make video games lowest priority.

Apply some improvement advice, any more constructive hobbies. Meditate every day. Sense the feeling of ego transcendence and becoming outcome independent. Obviously work out, get sleep, eat clean, spruce up your wardrobe. Then go out and get your Game on with some other women.

tl;dr Everything you've mentioned above aside from focussing on finals briefly screamed needy low-status beta with oneitis. If you seriously want this girl back you need to make marked improvements in your SMV over what remains of this year, and your Game and Frame immediately-like as soon as you call her. But personally I'd let her go since you're exhibiting oneitis, lick your wounds for a bit, ditch the bad habits and re-enter the SMP when you're from a less needy place.

Additional details required

a) What else have you done lately to boost your SMV? I see you were initiated by the misc, same here, you still working out?

b) What exactly did you do to treat her 'like an asshole'/get her to do whatever you said, what was involved?

c) Elaborate on 'she came home'-> home home or walk home or what? Did it go anywhere? (not necessarily sex)

Get back to me when you've digested this. Good luck

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