I'm an Indian. I live in India. We have a marriage fetish, seriously. Our society is in a phase of transition. That is to say that women have realized the benefits of modern feminism and the methods to manipulate it to suit their needs, while men are yet to have a wake up call and stop falling for their shit. If you looked up "my choice deepika padukone" on youtube you'll see a video that'll demonstrate the kind of filth a modern urban Indian lady's mind is exposed to.

This post might come across as a bit disjointed, that's probably because I haven't slept. But I'll try to get across all the points that have been bothering me.

I'm a typical beta-cum-omega guy. I've been a fantastic student in school. I'm 25 by the way, I've aced all the exams in my life, and I'm a doctor now, about to pursue my post graduation degree in the field of my choice in a well reputed institute. My career is excellent, and the only thing in my life I'm proud of

Apart from that, my life is a pile of shit. I'm a joke among my friends (whom I've effectively cut off from my life since finishing my grad, so atm I have no friends, which I'm ok with), I'm a virgin (which is also not a big deal here, most guys here don't get laid until marriage) and I've never dated a girl (which is a bothersome aspect because I know for a fact that I'm in the minority here).

About me, I'm an omega, I guess. I can talk to girls, but they don't like me. I lack the ability to keep a girl engaged in a conversation. Most probably because I can't hold my frame too well in front of girls, I get anxious. You can trust my judgement though, I know instantly when people don't like me, I have a great insight.

Now back to the real problem. We get married. In India, we absolutely have to get married. Unmarried people are social outcasts, and the elder relatives and everyone else you know will keep bothering you if you're not married in your 30's. There are other issues too, which you'll understand if you're an Indian, but suffice to say, that I will have to get married. Not now, not tomorrow, but surely within the next 10 years (Most probably 5)

Now, the thing is, I've read red pill, a lot. I came across this about 6-7 months ago, or maybe 8-9 months. It was hard to swallow, and I'm still in the process of swallowing. What has improved about me is, I've started lifting. I'm in a good shape now, better than ever. But what's worse is how fucked up I feel in the head. True, I'm in the anger phase right now and I despise women, in general, for being who they are. And I'm aware acceptance phase might come in near future, but for that to happen, I suppose I need to overcome my fear of women. Now, that's the hard part.

I know that it won't be hard for me to get married. I'm such a lovely beta provider, no woman will ever reject me. But I don't want to be that man. I don't want to work my ass off, then return home to listen to her nagging, ultimately culminating in a dead bedroom where I'm trying chore-play to make something happen. Nor do I want my kids to have a weak fucked up beta pussy male role model and turn into little spoiled pieces of shit when they grow up.

I know the only way to avoid this bleak future is to date as much as I can before I marry. Because that'll increase my SMV, make me practice shit tests, help me boost my confidence, and basically just make me better at handling women. But that's hard for me, considering I've deleted my FB and have absolutely no friends who can help me with this. OkCupid and Tinder and such shit works only in metro cities, and it won't be helpful where I'm from.

So, I'm pretty much stuck here. The positive aspect is, my parents haven't really started to pressure me to marry just yet, but in a couple of years, I know they will. The negative aspect is, I'm such a huge fuck up, I don't even know how to begin getting normal, apart from lifting, of course.

I know most replies here will be- Fuck that, don't marry, take control of your own life motherfucker. But that's not how it works here, and I'm no pioneer to start a new trend. Anyway, thanks for reading, feels good to write down the shit going through my head.

tl;dr: beta-cum omega guy, have to date more before getting married, but have no social network for that