So I am into femdom. Am I screwed?

bpbetabuck · 2015-04-04T10:54:42+00:00

This is something I overcame.

I used to masterbate furiously to femdom porn, paid a woman a lot of money to keep my cock locked in a cage while teasing and denying me.

I could only get hard when being dominated, humiliated and used by a woman.

I cured this by first, going 90 days wank free (which wasnt actually too hard for me because of my experience with chastity in the past). I cut all porn from my life for that period.

After the 90 days I slowly introduced porno pictures only, of women naked, but nothing that wasn't tasteful. I limited myself to 2 wanks per week and that was that.

Think of it as dropping an addiction, you can't ever touch it again. Cut it out completely.

A year on I get hard to women not femdom. It cured my errection issues in the bed room and I dont even think about it when I get hard anymore.

Diabolo_Advocato · 2015-04-04T10:20:30+00:00

Everyone has their kinks, sometimes I'm submissive and sometimes she is submissive and other times we like to fight for dominance(I always end up winning).

What TRP teaches is not complete dominance in the bedroom, but dominance in life over all.

She wants is someone she can count on and that won't let her or anyone else take advantage of himself. Some guys are into pegging, some guys are into bondage, some women are into whips and hot wax. There is a reason you hear about company CEO's going to see a dominatrix and stuff.

If you have a problem with being assertive and working for what you want, then you will have a hard time.

Kinksterazzi · 2015-04-04T16:15:57+00:00

Older guy here, with a longer-term perspective.

It's important to understand that your attitude, mindset, and how you approach it is the key. Submissive carries the connotation of being weak, obsequious, subservient, and not in control; these are characteristics that women do not typically find attractive.

However, you can present yourself in such a way that some (not all) women will be attracted enough to want to experiment, and that those who are already predisposed to femdom will find intriguing or desirable.

First of all, own it. I mean, seriously own being kinky. This is where most guys tend to lose it: they're embarrassed, almost apologetic, and tend to see it as a shortcoming. If some woman screws up her face and says "Eewww, that's weird," you need to learn how to laugh it off, and show that you're actually proud to be sexually adventurous and knowledgeable (you are, aren't you?). That's your frame.

When you find a partner who is either into it, or willing to explore, those stereotypes of guys eating from dog bowls, or being helpless disgusting worms, etc., are usually turnoffs for women. Instead, you need to approach it from the perspective that you are submitting out of strength and devotion, like a knight to a queen. Remember - you're showing yourself to be a sexy, powerful beast (you're lifting, right?) that she has the opportunity to control, if only for a little while. A lot of women like horses for similar reasons.

I have read a few kink bloggers (men and women) who have some good perspectives on this, if you're interested. Keep in mind that not all women will be interested in exploring that kink, although I've learned that some of them will experiment with some aspects. And some women simply will not kink that way at all, ever. This is another reason why you need to own it - you need to find out ASAP if they're going to be interested, because there's no point in wasting both of your times if it's a complete turn off.

Remember that it's the power that they are drawn to. Eat right, lift, be smart, and own it.

[deleted] · 2015-04-04T10:59:16+00:00

I got over it. You allow a woman to dominate when you want to (as said in the Sex God Method). You are a human I assume, so you can learn to enjoy dominating a woman. I learned to love it because a lover will in general respond to it very well if I am keeping up with intimacy and immersion. Read Sex God Method.

You can keep your kink in your relationships. You just have to exert dominance as well when that is your role, which it should be, and you can learn to enjoy it. Sex is a fantastic play/act if you do it right. Though as we are animals, dominance is king.

drallcom3 · 2015-04-04T19:22:12+00:00

Yes, you're screwed. Acting out that fetish lowers your SMV. There's a reason why CEOs pay a lot of money to keep it secret.

masterrod · 2015-04-04T12:39:42+00:00

You're not screwed at all. But I doubt you'll be able to use RP to get a girl that's confident enough to dominate you.

Am I automatically beta if I am sexually submissive? Should I just go to pro-dominatrix for my kinks and try to keep it out of my "real" relationships? Am I automatically beta if I am sexually submissive? Should I just go to pro-dominatrix for my kinks and try to keep it out of my "real" relationships?

Thinking much to hard just meet women.

ThePacketSlinger · 2015-04-04T15:51:39+00:00

The two are not mutually exclusive, IMO, as long as you can separate your kinks from you when not in the bedroom. Going to be super difficult to pull off in a ONS scenario, though.

Did I read that right? You're sexually submissive, but not a fucking pussy? Do you pedestalize women in your every day life, or does it just get you off in bed?

As with anything, you either accept it and deal with it, or you change it. Changing it will for sure net you better results if your goal is to spin plates. I don't think spinning plates without changing it would be impossible, but you'd definitely be playing on hard mode.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-04-04T13:09:32+00:00

Concern troll

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2015-04-04T19:20:58+00:00

No woman respects a man she can dominate and it cannot and will not be left in the bedroom

Title	So I am into femdom. Am I screwed?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	19
Comments	17
Date	April 4, 2015 9:30 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/31emhm/so_i_am_into_femdom_am_i_screwed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/so-i-am-into-femdom-am-i-screwed.191282 https://theredarchive.com/post/191282

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