How to calm down?

H3lius · 2014-12-31T04:07:06+00:00

I'm seeing too many variables, so let's break down what situations I would presume someone would freak out in. Also, I'll touch on why you're thinking about band-aiding the symptoms, not the root.

Rejection - So, you walk up to a girl you find is attractive. Maybe passively, maybe direct. "Hi, I'm threwfa" you say. She looks you up and down and immediately starts laughing/giggling like you're some below average chump not worth her time. You see it on her face, clear as day, and instantly get that sick feeling in your gut that comes with rejection. What do you do to calm down? Well, if you aren't in control of your physical response to emotions, you're going to immediately slouch. Probably get a stupid look on your face and at the very worst... start crying.

Analysis: First: Desensitization. You have to get into an abundance mindset. One girl rejects you in the shittiest way possible? So what. Go to the next girl and give it another whirl. THE MORE YOU ACT, THE LESS YOU REACT is the saying. I'm familiar with playing guitar. I don't get nearly as nervous as I first did when I go to jam with people because I ignored the inner scared little child telling me "no, you might get laughed at" and did it anyway. Regardless of whether I sucked. No one is good at ANYTHING their first time. I don't care who you are. The sooner you adopt that mindset that, the better.

Second: Value added. Are you working out and have a rocking body? Do you have a decent haircut and a sweet sense of style? Look, you can't ignore your value, so start adding to it. Everyone is selling bread at the market. The guy that sells the most, makes sandwiches. So become a sandwhich... Ha, I kid, but you probably get what I mean. I see guys busted in the face landing decent chicks. Simply because they have added value and are not the average chump.

As the guys at RSD say, "just smile, say "have a great night", and walk away". Amused mastery is I think what it's called.

AMOG'ed - Not sure what you mean by this exactly, but if it's being intimidated by an alpha, or any man, then you have several options. You go to a bar and meet your friends. One of your friends brings along two of his friends, a hot babe and a total bro. They're not a couple, but you can tell he's trying not to show his interest in her. He's better looking, more socially apt, and the life of the party. As the night goes on, you get to know both of these characters and actually find the balls to ask "hot babe" whether "total bra" and her are a thing. "We're not" she says, but she's constantly laughing at his jokes and reacting to his advances in a positive way. After that, she starts talking to your other friend to cut off your conversation. I don't think she's into you bro... Not only HOES AIN'T LOYAL, but they LIE you say to yourself laughing externally and realizing no one would understand how funny that was even if you had said it outloud.. Anyway, just then "total bro" turns and is staring at you. He's got people around him, most of your friends, but some new people he's dragged in to the group. You look at him and say "Wat?". He smiles and says "Wat?" in a way that makes him sound "challenged" (since retarded is politically incorrect from what I'm told). "Is this dude mocking me?" you say to yourself. Well yes he is, and for no god damn reason. Now everyone is looking at you and waiting for a response. What do you do?

Analysis: First: You're a threat. Total bro may have seen you as a threat. You're smart enough to have understood without asking that he is into "hot babe" or spinning her as a plate, but you thought there may be a chance you could nail a hoe and gave it a shot. Well good for you bro, but you're not the smartest tool in the shed it seems. Rule #1 of the imaginarymadeuponthespot rule book is BE SMARTER THAN THE ALPHA. He's prob' not super bright (not always true) and resorts to violence and hiding his insecurities by attacking other people publicly. Most bros with social status and alpha appearance that I've seen and had the pleasure to meet anyway... You're not a man of abundance if you're hoping, begging, some alphas obvious plate/attraction will give you attention. So start being smart and avoiding that kind of situation altogether.

Second: Stand up for yourself chump. He smiles and says "Wat?" in a way that makes him sound "challenged". Obviously mocking you to make himself look tough. You can get frightened and run away, losing the respect of your friends and enemies, or you can play this smart and reply with something witty. I like to say "Come again?" in reply to idiotic people. The more they repeat what they say, especially if they are mimicking someone "special", the more other people hear them making a dumb noise and realizing what is going on. You're dragging on the situation and slowly pouring water on the fire. Well placed questions help you remain in control of situations. Cops use them all the time. "Why are you talking with a lisp and trying to intimidate me?" would be my next question. If you call out the specifics with bullies, in front of other people, you make their weakness and reason for aggressive behavior public and able to be analyzed by the room. Most sane humans, if not inebriated, will almost instantly understand what "total bro" is doing and may even side with you to get him to STFU. In short, just play it smarter.

Lastly, get in the habit of reminding yourself to be mindful of your calmness. Man for a whole week I set a timer every 30 minutes to go off and flash "RELAX" at me. I then closed my eyes, took a few breaths and focused on relaxing my entire body. I then spend the next few minutes feeling the tension creep back and started becoming aware of triggers to my stress/tension. Awareness is perspective and perspective gives you control to an extent. It then became second nature to be more aware of my physical state. I learned I was lactose intollerant of all things doing this. I was never able to connect stomach issues with food I would eat until I started being more mindful. The better you get at understanding and controlling your body, the better you will get at facing shit tests and stuff that makes you "freak out" with courage and remain absolutely calm throughout.

Mindset tips: TRUST YOURSELF. SURRENDER TO THE MOMENT. BE THE ADULT REGARDLESS OF YOUR INNER CHILD'S FEARS AND TAKE ACTION. PLAY IT SMART IF YOU CAN'T PLAY IT PHYSICALLY STRONG.

I hope you enjoy the novel I just wrote for you. To be honest, I'm trying to write more, but I do have experience with your question's problem and was able to work myself out of it with a number of methods. It's never 100% easy and I still feel sick from rejection regardless of 100s of approaches, but at least I'm not in a self destructive mindset anymore and fall into a pit of depression after the first girl that rejects me. The key for me was working out. I'm already good looking. Having a rocking body only makes it easier. Now when I go dancing, girls come to me.

redpillexplainsit · 2014-12-31T03:45:38+00:00

50 push-ups

crazycattime · 2014-12-31T04:19:58+00:00

This has always worked for me: 1) deep breaths, as slow as you can do them, considering your excited state. and 2) focus on the feeling in your toes. This has the effect of grounding you in the moment. There's science behind it but I don't have a link.

The second one seems to be hit or miss on its own, but the combination has never failed me.

Title	How to calm down?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	5
Date	December 31, 2014 3:14 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2qvshf/how_to_calm_down/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-calm-down.192733 https://theredarchive.com/post/192733

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