I think a plate of mine went on a date with her ex but I'm not sure. How should I deal with this

BrunoOh · 2014-10-18T21:37:24+00:00

Sounds like she is trying to play dread game. Keep spinning bro.

If you acknowledge this you come across as needy and insecure, so don't.

Ronin11A · 2014-10-18T23:28:43+00:00

Bringing it up makes you lose your Frame, and shows that you care about a plate more than you should. If you care that much, she's not a plate to you, she's a LTR you're not willing to admit is a LTR.

If you're snooping her Instagram, caring if she went on dates with her ex, you need to re-read TRP basics and reform your Frame. You should be willing to walk at any moment, next any girl, and you clearly can't do that here.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2014-10-18T22:05:02+00:00

While we're technically not in a committed relationship yet, I feel very uneasy about getting into one with her if she's still seeing her ex.

Don't. Keep spinning plates.

[deleted] · 2014-10-18T22:44:37+00:00

Put her on last chance probation and the next time she slips up then she's nexted or not LTR possible

SkorchZang · 2014-10-19T16:21:29+00:00

You're in a great place all around.

I wouldn't mention the instagram at all.

She's poking around, hoping you will get her hints. Best thing to do, is play the affectionately dumb brute with her.

you: "Oh baby, I thought we were over this, are you saying you want me all to yourself now?"

her: well yea as a matter of fact I do, you ass!

you: Awww that's adorable!! Come gimme a kiss.

her: so?..

you: I'll think about it. grin at her

Later on when she's absolutely desperate, you declare your royal will. OK, you will agree to be exclusive with her. But, that would mean she doesn't get to talk to any of her ex's ever again, because that's a pet peeve and a deal breaker for you personally. Is baby even ready for something like that, in her life? Maybe we should just keep on seeing each other, no labels, and see where it all goes...Yeah...

Around this point if she's "punching" you and practically screaming that her ex's are as good as dead to her, then you did it exactly right. You can pretty much pencil in some smooth sailing for the two of you for a good chunk of time after that. Beyond a certain point, she may relapse and start roping those ex's/orbiters back in, shit's addictive to women, but if that happens you withdraw your exclusivity. Sowwy, that's the deal, baby.

[deleted] · 2014-10-18T22:53:55+00:00

Don't bring him up man.. Just let things happen naturally, it's VERY hypocritical to tell her you're not serious (which you aren't) while banging other chicks and not expect her to bang other dudes. Which she probably isn't, she just saw her ex at some coffee shop with other people.

Frankly, I would keep plating her, and I disagree that this is dread. She doesn't know you're on her instagram, she didn't mention it, it's not dread. She's just playing the field like you, once you get serious you set ground rules. "I really like you and I think it's time to start seeing each other officially and more seriously, no more screwing around with other people for either of us".

If she sees her ex AFTER that it's a different story.

Again I would just plate, but whatever man if you wanna tie it down this doesn't mean you can, but bringing this up is pretty idiotic.

Title	I think a plate of mine went on a date with her ex but I'm not sure. How should I deal with this
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	6
Date	October 18, 2014 9:27 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2jn0xu/i_think_a_plate_of_mine_went_on_a_date_with_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-think-a-plate-of-mine-went-on-a-date-with-her-ex.193770 https://theredarchive.com/post/193770

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