Clarification on what "frame" is...

SkorchZang · 2014-09-13T07:12:51+00:00

The term comes from psychology. Think of a large picture like a tapestry. If people are talking about the tapestry, what will happen usually is that they will focus (or frame) on a certain part of it, and talk about that. As if the rest of the tapestry didn't even exist. Obviously, they'll also do this in a way that benefits them, not abstract notions of truth or objectivity.

Holding frame is being resilient when under attack, and not allowing other people to focus on a different part of the tapestry, bringing them back again into your own frame, where you always have the advantage. Great examples of holding frame are to be found in mainstream media like Fox News. The talking heads there are trained and drilled on holding frame, no matter what a controversial guest says, the chatterbox host will turn it all around and frame the issue in a way that benefits his owners.

On TRP holding frame has taken on the more general meaning of having the power to tell a woman "No", to disarm her shit tests, and to mentally dominate her the way she wants to be. Do it to a man and expect fierce resistance; but women respond to this kind of dominance in epic ways; it brings them almost instant ease, relief, they turn sweet and are much happier, because the responsibility for shit is no longer with her, it's with the man, whom she trusts.

The purpose of shit tests is to covertly determine whether a particular man is actually worth trusting and submitting to. No woman wants to submit herself to poor leadership that will get her eaten by sabretooth tigers. Shit tests are very subtle sometimes, simply being tyrannical is not going to cut it. She's like a missile with guidance systems helping her home in on her target, a worthy leader for her in life who's going to take care of himself and her, both.

CrazySunshine99 · 2014-09-13T17:37:25+00:00

Almost nobody in here has a clue about what's meant by "frame" or "holding frame".

Assume that nothing in the world has any inherent meaning, the only meaning that exists is that which people assign. "Nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so", as Shakespeare put it.

A frame is simply an interpretation of reality. You get fired from work, that could either be a horrible blow or an opportunity for growth. You make the interpretation, you pick the frame.

A girl expects you to court her with gifts and attention, that is her frame. You won't do that, but you're going to let her know that you want her and that she can take it or leave it. These frames compete with each other, it's impossible for them to co-exist. You can't both suck up to her and be nonchalant at the same time.

If you "hold frame" she will either surrender her frame, no longer expecting you to treat her like a princess, or the interaction will end.

Holding frame has nothing to do with being a leader, although it's necessary to hold frame if you expect to lead. When a C-list celebrity asks "do you know who I am?" they expect you to fall into their frame where they are special and deserve special treatment.

If you apply for a job with the frame that you have a unique skill set that you will only sell at a high price while the interviewer has the frame that you should be lucky to get hired by him, your frames are at odds. You will try to convince him that you have more to offer than any other candidate, while at the same time you are considering other offers. If he starts chasing you, your frame has won out. If he shuts you down and you accept a low ball starting salary, his frame has won. If both of you keep holding frame, you're Michael Scott.

All social interactions have a frame associated with them. Teacher/student, prisoner/prison guard, parent/child and so on. The frames often imply a power imbalance and if you're on the wrong end of it you will want to become aware of it and perhaps change it.

"All models are false, but some are useful" - that's the mantra of frame control. Did your childhood traumatize you or make you resilient? Neither is true or false, but one interpretation will empower you, the other makes you a victim. Choose frames that empower you.

A common frame could be called "I am the prize", which implies you're desirable and people should want to be around you. If a girl outright rejects you and you persist in using this frame you will look like you're not socially clued in at all, or as you put it, autistic. Elliott Rodger lived this frame and it clashed horribly with reality. As I said before, it's impossible for two frames to co-exist.

So the challenge for the aspiring seducer is to pick frames that he thinks are attractive and then hold frame even though he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. That's why you see frame being pushed so hard around here. That's why guys are "losing frame" all the time, because they're trying to sell the idea that they have sexual abundance while in reality they're needy. That they have interesting lives, while in fact they don't. That's also why the term has become corrupted to mean "be assertive, don't take any shit".

In that simplification you lose the most useful part of frame control, which isn't directing social interactions but controlling your own mind.

stillnoturday · 2014-09-13T06:26:27+00:00

Holding frame is "Be a leader. Choose things and stick with them. Don't let people walk all over you." It is not becoming emotional in response to situations.

Title	Clarification on what "frame" is...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	13
Date	September 13, 2014 5:45 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2g9owf/clarification_on_what_frame_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/clarification-on-what-frame-is.194235 https://theredarchive.com/post/194235

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