Engaging in my first Soft Next. Tips/advice?

aguy01 · 2014-07-17T00:45:28+00:00

Honestly, it's probably already over between you two. She has complete disregard for you. A girl would never try to pull that shit on someone she really thought was a high-value alpha. From this point on she can only ever be a plate. She's obviously too emotionally unstable for an LTR. This is how I would handle this situation:

Completely ignore her until she flips out. "I want to talk" is not flipping out. She needs to be freaking out about the end of the relationship. She may not even try to talk and already be fucking someone else (she already thinks you are a pussy). Let her go if she doesn't (she's already gone). If she does get desperate, continue ignoring her for the rest of the day. Depending on the nature of the freak out, you may not even want to re initiate contact. If you do, then do it with something random, like a comment about the weather or something funny that happened at work, like nothing was ever wrong. Don't try and talk about the issue. If she tries to talk to you, just listen to her and change the subject. Next time you guys do anything that involves spending money, you make her pay.

If more than a week goes by and she doesn't say anything, reinitiate the same way but just know that you will be lucky if you even get to bang her again, because she don't give a fuck about you.

From this point on you should be using her for your pleasure (preferably you would dump her and have other girls, but she's a selfish whore so who cares), while investing virtually nothing into her, and pursuing other women.

Most importantly of all is you need to get over this oneitis you have and really be prepared to lose her. She may just bang another dude. If she is willing to do that, then you would never have had a good relationship. Based on this childish shit you won't have a good relationship. She isn't even worth being a plate, tbh.

mudra311 · 2014-07-17T01:45:17+00:00

She is not a higher quality woman if she doesn't respect you enough to follow through on her plans. Honestly, I next any girl who cancels - doesn't even matter the excuse. If it's legitimate, they'll come back around anyways.

kempff · 2014-07-17T01:57:47+00:00

I know you want to contact her, that's a natural human reaction. But I venture to suggest that No, she is not such a high quality woman or person, at least in my opinion. High-quality people don't play games like that, especially over something that involves already-purchased tickets. I support your decision to soft-next. But remember, a true soft-next means you don't respond even if she initiates contact, which will happen in a day or two. You can help yourself resist the temptation to reply, by replacing her with someone else, so go out and find Ms Next.

megatron37 · 2014-07-17T11:19:45+00:00

"You spent today ignoring me, did you even think to ask if I really want to go"

Think about that phrasing, you spent your day ignoring me. Which I'm guessing means you didn't spend your day responding to her texts, which I'm sure is what she is used to and expects.

Doesn't really scream high quality, homie.

Title	Engaging in my first Soft Next. Tips/advice?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	7
Date	July 16, 2014 11:26 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2awleg/engaging_in_my_first_soft_next_tipsadvice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/engaging-in-my-first-soft-next-tipsadvice.194943 https://theredarchive.com/post/194943

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