How to maintain frame?

Aldovar · 2014-05-02T21:07:40+00:00

Frame, in the broadest terms, is the underlying context for your words/actions. For example, Let's say you're with a girl at a place and you tell her, "Let's get out of here." Depending on the environment and how you say it, it's underlying meaning can change. If you said it very coyly, you might imply you want to take her somewhere like your bedroom. On the other hand, if you say it with a bit of urgency, you would be implying that the situation at hand requires a hasty exit.

What can happen in a interaction with multiple people, is that parties involved may have different frames for the same situation. For example, you could approach a girl and greet her, but right off the bat she gives you an icy glare and a bit of a sneer. Your frame is set that you're a pretty cool guy and what not, but her frame says, "Ugh, another creepy guy trying to hit on me. Gross."

So this is where maintaining frame comes in. Whose interpretation of the situation is right? If you break frame, then you might think you did something wrong and you'll act all apologetic and what not. In that moment, you accept that she was right - you were just being a creep hitting on her. On the other hand, when you maintain your frame, and reply, "Haha, what was that rude look for?" with a confident grin, you can set the frame that she's being rude. And if it works, she'll break frame and be the one apologizing. Alternatively she could maintain her frame, say something to make you feel weird, and so on.

Maintaining frame does require confidence, but there are other things that you can do to make it easier (context!). In the above example, it's much easier to maintain your frame if you were the host of the party. Preselection and leadership are also good to have, since it's easier for someone to submit to your frame when other people have already done it.

wttr · 2014-05-02T20:08:13+00:00

Your frame is the image you project to other people. Ideally you want to display confidence, aloofness, and that you are deliberate in your actions. "Amused mastery" is a phrase that is thrown around a lot and I think it is self explanatory.

Holding frame is when you maintain this image in the face of shit-tests and other less than ideal situations rather than breaking into outcome dependence and reactionary behavior.

KyfhoMyoba · 2014-05-02T20:35:34+00:00

Frame is the set of beliefs you hold about yourself (identity), the others you are interacting with, and more importantly, what is the nature of the interaction and the roles each play in said interaction. For example, if you believe that you are only good enough to 'get' an 8, say, and you are interacting with a '9', your frame will be different than if you believe that all women have a limbic system and a cortex that work pretty much the same, and further believe that you understand and can manipulate said brain and that you are 'worthy' of interacting with any-fucking-body, and even more different than if you don't even believe there is such a thing as an ''8' or a '9', or that there's anything unusual whatsoever about walking up to someone and asking them a question.

Frame rules all. All other positive attributes (looks, status, money, etc.) will be negated (in time) by lack of a good frame, and all deficiencies can be overcome or improved with proper frame.

Title	How to maintain frame?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	4
Date	May 2, 2014 7:57 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/24kget/how_to_maintain_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-maintain-frame.195593 https://theredarchive.com/post/195593

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