Before I became aware of the RP, I had a pretty set plan for raising my daughter: I was going to raise her like I’d raise a son. No different. If she got complimented on her looks, I’d explain that looks don’t really matter it’s what you do that matters.

But since the pill, I’ve begun to compliment her looks and allowed her to pick just girly things.

Before I would never have done that as a BPer! I didn’t want society telling her she had to just be pretty! I wanted her to be an empowered woman, ready to push back against the patriarchy!

Imagine the shock when I found out the patriarchy didn’t exist!

Now, I still wrestle with her and want her to be physical because... you know, I’m a dad and that’s how we interact with children generally. But if it’s her birthday, buy her some girly barbies. Paint her nails, let her hair grow out. It’s not my job to raise some feminist firebrand, it’s my job to encourage her to express her inner little girl no matter how much the feminists try to shame her or me.

I still haven’t figured out how to help her avoid feminism’s “empowering” CC, but for now it’s enough to let little girls enjoy being pretty without needing give a BP lecture demeaning the importance of beauty. There’s no reason why being pretty means she won’t also be effective. In fact, being pretty is just one thing in the basket of important things she will do. Don’t complicate a compliment on her cuteness by giving lessons that will only confuse or shame her.