I lurked this sub hard when shit hit the fan in my marriage starting last July. Had two options: curl up in a ball on my couch and let depression grip me as deeply as it had my wife; or man-up, embrace a new course, exercise daily, read, and most of all when I could not display higher SMV, never ever expose incidents of low value.

The new course was accepting that I was a slave to validation, especially creating covert contracts that if I acted nice or attended to what I thought were the needs of my wife, it would result in the highest form of validation: sex. I turned it off completely which allowed me to learn how to build and maintain frame. I adopted a mindset to become the best man I could be for myself, and decided my wife could either jump on board and if not, I would be prepared to face life without her.

I am not a fan of gyms. I neither have the money for a membership or the time to travel. My basement / new living quarters became my home gym. With a yoga mat and six foot ceilings, I still used body weight training, stretching, and eventually developed a daily meditation regimen. Hitting this no less than 6 days/week and cutting sugar and grains from my diet, I quickly gained a physique that was a major confidence boost.

Starting off I read the side bar, current and top rated posts along with all the comments. Then to the 101 books: MAP, WISNIFG, NNMG, and then Rational Male and Rollo's blog, podcasts, etc. all vital! Mixed in some fiction as well as philosophy and other non-fiction along the way to keep my mind fresh and balanced. Along with the reading I began internalizing the ideas and perceptions and implementing these new ways of speaking assertively into every conversation regardless of who it was with. Then came Dieda's, The Way of the Superior Man. As soon as I finished the last sentence I started it again from page 1 and am now on a path in seek of my core purpose.

Lastly, when it came to High Value / Low Value shit... We all fuck up, but if no one is around to see it, just STFU. There is no need to tell anyone that you broke a glass. Just own it, clean it, and move on. I've gained weight before and been able to keep squeezing into the same clothes, but after dropping fat I didn't know I had to lose, I needed to pick up a whole new, form fitting wardrobe. Finding sales and buying a piece at a time off clearance racks allowed me to do so without breaking the bank.

The red pill ideals are essential to a happy life and ranking up either your current woman or the ones who are lucky enough to come into the picture post-personal-transformation. Confidence and integrity result in trust from and the ability to lead the world around you. Make a plan for the next hour or day or year and plow forward. Accept that mistakes will result and learn from them, but do not allow the opinions of others to take you off course. Fuck Em if they disagree or judge, you make all choices for your life now.

The principals I learned here allowed me to create an environment for myself in which I have not been more happy and genuinely optimistic with life since before puberty hit. While I was not active in posts or comments, I want to sent my gratitude to those who are. Anyone who feels like they are in a rut and no matter how hard they try only seem to get buried deeper: it's not about trying harder, it's about making a complete change from head to toe, inside and out. Follow the advice, use the tools, and own the shit.

Personal details for reference. I'm late 30s, married 8 years with an almost 4 yo daughter.