My Red Pill journey began two years ago. At that time, my life had reached a new low. I had been married for five years, had two small children, and I was a pathetic sack of shit. I was weak and twenty pounds over weight. All athletic endeavors I enjoyed were given up on to be at home more often. My business had the least profitable year since it's formation. I did anything my wife told me to do, thinking following her commands would make her happy. I had no social life, and actually thought going out with friends or even by myself would upset her. I was entirely in her frame. My hobby at the time was drinking. Every night I would pour two stiff bourbons and settle in on the computer. I even tried to hide drinking from my wife so as not to make her upset with my actions. Again, I was totally in her frame and literally a drunk captain.

We would fight. We were losing money. My sex life sucked. I was miserable. I knew things had to change. So before I found this place I started to make some changes.

Change number 1 (pre-RP):

During the first month of 2015, I took the first step. Even though I was still Blue Pill, I knew I could not continue to live like this. The first thing I did was hold a meeting with my secretary telling her how things would be different this year for business. Because of circumstances outside of my control, the way I had always done business no longer existed. I needed to right the ship and form a new path with new strategies. I would lead by example, getting to the office first and being the last to leave. I made my business my dream and my creation and I was not going to let it fail. Business slowly began to turn in the right direction.

Change number 2 (pre-RP):

A couple of weeks later (very early 2015), I joined a soccer team. I didn't know anyone on the team, I just posted online that I would like to join a team and bam! I had my first consistent social activity since the arrival of my first born. Getting out of the house every week was liberating. There is also something about team sports that makes you want to win and become better than you are. I began wanting more.

Change number 3 (pre-RP):

I was drinking at the time, and I remember googling things like “why is my wife such a bitch” at night while sipping on a whiskey. At first it would pull up articles advocating for me to “do more housework” to make her happy. I remember cleaning the kitchen with extra vigor for a couple of weeks. Of course no change in her behavior or my sex life happened. She was still a nagging, harpy bitch I hated to be around. I was still a drunk captain.

One night, I got pretty drunk, more than usual, and went to bed after her. After being asleep for ten minutes, the baby woke up, and that caused my wife to begin screaming at me. Seriously yelling for no reason (except, of course, that she was married to a drunk captain). Well, I said some mean and nasty shit back at her and don't remember what I said. Those words hurt her, and it was no way for a man to act. I quite drinking the next day. Here is the kicker, at first I did it for her. I was seeking her approval about it, wanting affirmation about what I was doing and doing it for her because I was showing my love for her through this action. Fucking god, I was pathetic.

Change number 4 (Pre-RP):

Instead of drinking at night to unwind, I began to read reddit with the intention of self-improvement. It started with r/stopdrinking. I don't believe I was an alcoholic, but that sub gave me a new perspective on life and made me realize my hobby was alcohol or events revolving around alcohol. Even without drinking, my wife and I still fought all the time. She was still cold, unloving, and just a general bitch to be around (I understand why now and accept it was my fault). I still googled “wife is a bitch” at night. It somehow lead me to r/deadbedrooms. My bedroom was not dead, but it certainly was nothing to brag about. But more importantly, dead bedrooms somehow in April of 2015 got me here! Holy fuck, it was like lightening striking. “Why is my wife a bitch?” Here is the answer, you look at him in the mirror every day. I started to get my shit together.

I began to read. I read the side bar. I read the 101. I read the advanced material. I read this sub and TRP. I started with MMSLP and it was by far the most relevant 101 material for my situation. The most influential book was not read until early this summer, The Rational Male. The Rational Male should be required reading for any man with a pair. In any event, I started to read and I have not quite reading yet. This is a life journey, remember that.

Change number 1(post-RP):

At first the change in my business was slow because I had to totally transform it. However, it is wonderful what a dedicated male can do. Business started flooding in, and I noticed I used Red Pill principles in client interactions. I went from 2014, my worst year financially, to 2015, my best year financially. 2016 blows 2015 out of the water. I own this sub and the great stoic advice a debt of gratitude for my current financial success, thanks guys!

Change number 2 (post-RP):

I loved playing on my new soccer team. Once I became Red Pill I had a better understanding of the socialization and dread aspect of joining, so I actually joined a second soccer team and made tons of friends. I go out with the boys (old friends and new friends) all the time now. It is never too late to make friends, just get involved and it is easy. And of course, once I did find this sub in April/May of 2015, I started the thing that literally changed my life. I started to lift! I dicked around at first, but finally got on a program. Stronglifts will make you strong as fuck. Looking in the mirror is fun. The attention from women is mind blowing. The confidence boost cannot be understated. Lift!

Change number 3 (post-RP):

I realized I enjoyed life more without alcohol in it. I also realized I had quite drinking for the wrong reason: her. I rededicated myself and this time did it for me. Once I internalized that not drinking was something I wanted to do, I flourished. Surprisingly, I am more social and fun to be around without booze. I am never too hungover for the gym. I never lose control of my emotions like I did pre-RP. This advice is not for everyone, but it did in fact help me.

Change number 4 (post-RP):

I call this change internalization of frame. Really, this is the point of the the post. My wife did not become sweet and nice overnight, just like I didn't change over night. If you look in my post history, my last post was about a main event after she returned from a two week vacation. I realized I was completely happy without her at home and would be just fine without her, and she came home as cold and bitter as she was pre-PR. That night I dropped a nuke and meant every word. I gave myself a deadline of January 1st for the marriage to be enjoyable or I was moving on. Her behavior improved significantly after the main event, but was still not acceptable for what I envisioned for my life, even one year after I had adopted the Red Pill.

It took another mini-episode about a month later where I again had to hold frame and explicitly tell her what was expected of her for it all to finally sink in. After this mini-event, I contacted prominent divorce attorneys. She didn't know this, but it is almost like she could intuitively sense it. For the last three months, my marriage has maintained a level where it is a net positive in my life. It is the best it has ever been.

The journey has almost been two years now. There was never a quick fix. Some marriages, like mine, will not change overnight once you start acting like an alpha. Some women will never change, and you cannot make them change. You can only change yourselves and control your own destiny. After the main event this July, after I set a termination deadline, after I spoke to divorce attorneys, things changed. But there was also the pull. I was a better leader, I was more fun to be around, I was not drunk, I was sexy and athletic, I had friends, women hit on me, my wife found me sexy again. There was a push and a pull. There was a long process. Ultimately I got the ship heading in the right direction and intend to keep it that way.