Sorry guys about my writing style i belong to an Asian country my first language is not English , please excuse me for it i have been a lurker and reading married red pill and lot of stuff from like last two months or so . its a long wall of text but will be really thankful for advice if sages of married red pill can advice to a guy like me my whole life has become a turmoil after reading trp ..

BODY well this is the story of my married life we are in different professions Me (37) in Sales wife (35) highly educated working as a software analyst Phd doctorate High income group HB8 we met on a website started chatting found out she was a very recent widow , her ex husband( same profession as her different company) had died of car accident and they had only been married for 3 years , anyway at that point of time she wanted to remarry again along with me she was also chatting with some other potential suitors as well one guy in particular whom she was interested in( same profession as her) and met him 2/3 times (formal meeting) but he wasn't interested coz didn't want a widow to be his first wife or so due to family pressures , fast forward we continue and in 3 years we get married . Earlier during the courtship she would talk about her husband a lot , but as he was dead and secondly it was a mental trauma she had gone through thirdly before him she never had any boyfriends so i thought it to be natural , it can happen to anybody so no big deal for me i never use to bother.After marriage she was living with her parents and in their own house as she had job obligations there for two to three years more so she could not shift to my city and i use to travel to her city once a month for a week or so and she would travel to my city along with her parents once in 6 months in holidays this arrangement kept going for next 4 years till she was able to complete her work and study obligations , after first year she became pregnant . The complex (condos) were she use to live with her parents there was this guy who was stay at home father who had a son who was having some mental deformity , she always use to tell how good he was and continuously use to talk about him and praise him that he stays at home and takes care of the kid while his wife worked and here is you who live in a different city and work you should come here and settle like him and take care of kids and i will work , i told her to fuck it nothing doing i am not a kind of a guy who will live off on my wife's salary ever going to take her money . Fast forward she shifts to my city along with her parents and one more kid lands in between so now there are two kids between us . once she shifted here one of these days i was just checking my old laptop which i had given to her 2/3 years back and( which she stopped using once she moved in with me as she bought a new one) upon checking the history of that old laptop i found out that she use to chat with random guys on chatting websites /rooms and they would be around the world but not from our country but some random guys this was couple of months after our first born that was the time she was doing a job and studying taking care of the kid along with the help of her parents ,on confrontation she told me and assured me that this was harmless chatting as no body would ever meet up as these guys live in different countries they will never come and she travelling anywhere without me is out of question for her and these were harmless chatting rooms with was purely waste of time with no future and a time pass when she was bored with her job kid and pressures of life she would go to chatting rooms on net and all these people were from different countries and no hanky panky was there as per her fine i took the crap with a pinch of salt . secondly looked more and found her some google scrapbook she had asked somebody in the near by area in her city .. a person from her known profession to be friend in scrapbook .... but when that guy asked her to meet she doesn't reply back and goes awol .

Now one thing more after marriage whatever electronic gadgets like laptop , cellphone and other things it is always bought by me and upgraded by me neither she is interested and neither has time to buy them she is dam busy . second instance or red flag ,one day got the hold of her phone found out she had a another face book profile by her real same name and another mail id by the same name which i didn't knew about on confrontation she said she plays some candy crush saga and she need some lives and told me as you have seen both of them you can see i never interacted with anybody and had the same friends and same ppl on the on the real profile as well good enough checked that mail yup spam messages etc were there but no real mail sent to anybody etc no chats on face book no messages sent or received and basically nothing i can pin point out towards her took this one also with a pinch of salt as well .Last year as i wanted to make some call asked her for her phone and she gave it to me made the call and suddenly message section opened it was android in that one of her male married with kids colleague had asked what time she would be leaving as his shift is till 8 pm ,( she doesn't work late evenings) no ans from her side no idea and then another message that why is she not replying to her messages and when i asked her she told he is a colleague and must be some work related messages she has no idea what he is talking about that guy is still in her whats app and he has left that job but no messages has been exchanged checked it couple of times as people on Reddit says trust but validate .Well things move more forward there is another guy now he logins in the picture she continuously tells me he is her competition in work place and this and how she hates him one day she left her Facebook open on ipad and i find out that she has secretly wished him happy birthday and kept it hidden and next time i find her reading his horoscope in newspaper the crap she gives me is that some people in her office told her that this guy is doing some shitty website stuff so she just wants to be sure what her enemy is up to through luck and karma . N ow the fourth guy logs in the picture this guy is her supervisor level person and she tells me stories that this guy is having an affair in office with another woman she is( practically there i know) who in turn is also married with kids news come that there is an office party at one of the colleague house after her promotion ppl from office are going to the party directly from office wife goes out of the way to dress up for that party carries all her stuff to the office changes and goes beats my logic her given logic to me is some ppl would be coming from home so wanted to look better so dressed up like that (even this guy was attending that party) now i hear this guy is also on his way out serving notice period.

Earlier also i use to notice things before redpiil but use to take them lightly apart from couple of questions here and there never use to give it much of a thought now after reading married redpill AWALT and divorce rape etc . i simply would like to ask couple of questions from married redpill thoughtful answers will be really appreciated .

My questions

1 The previous husband whos pics she still hides (as they have come up in front of me some times but i do not react) is it some shit test she that casually puts me into to see my reaction and places these pics in front of me or were i can find them while searching some stuff or she is an alpha widow stil living in her ex husbands aura.

2 was that stay at home father( even he is well educated) about that guy whom she used to rant so much was that guy screwing her, sometimes i wonder? coz i knew that with her parents at home it was practically impossible for him to come down at their place at any one given point of time . there was no way she could have bought him home and at his end he had a 24 hours male nurse and kid at home , meeting him outside is a possibility ? but for that they would need to go to a hotel or something but she being so busy the possibility looks very remote i still wonder till today ..... please advice . was it her just usual shit test or was it something else now ive started thinking after reading redpill awalt

3 in our verbal fights she accuses me of cheating which ive never done is she trying to hide some guilt thing again with all the men i ve written above .

4 divorce rape in our verbal duels she simply tells me go and fuck whom ever i want to and she would marry somebody from her own profession and during our fights i have told her you want to leave you find somebody else i care a dam and in case you would get 100 men even i would get 99 women she agrees to it comes up with reply that first you find somebody i will find somebody else too . she says i can find a guy for myself in seconds i do not have dearth but i cannot find a father to my kids so i have to live with you god knows what it means is the kids being used as bait here a blue pill question here .

5 in redpill what ive read is women do not respect you observe how they are talking to other men well in that case i am always shouted at and in case some random guy from work calls she is sweet like sugar she treats me like shit .

6 in front of kids she treats me like shit , in public she never sits with me she insults me in public like anything in front of relatives she is ok with me .

7 sex happens once in 3 months . that too after lot of begging simple duty sex forget anything else wham bam thank you mam.

Am i dealing with alpha widow and who is riding cc even in marriage with other random guys who are from same profession as her who just come out of nowhere and then simply vanish without trace .?

Or a super cheat with skills which have be honed to super perfection and super hamster considering her iq level which is above normal from day to day women she was sure to have done communicated with other guys but cleaned all the traces of everything to be caught in near future .

Am i dealing with a woman who is giving me all the hints in covert language which i am not able to understand but at the same time trying to put my logical mind to rest by telling me the guys you ask questions about are not worth it .

thanks for reading any answers with analytical and thoughtful thinking will be really appreciated