I think back to /u/bogey06 and his wonderful advice for a more playful life in Frame Control for Dummies:

Perform a lesser pet peeve of your wife and let her get pissed. Then tease her about it with good humor and A&A. Have fun, and when she goes off the deep end don't follow her.

I'm taking it one step further.

Try the STP "What's in it for me" test, Any time she talks to you, work that out in your head, shouldn't take long, you shouldn't need much unless you're a huge hedonist. If the words she uses don't directly benefit you in a measurable way, just look, cock your head to the side, and laugh.

Do it 100 times, then come back and assess.

I mean really laugh too. Not that nervous, tension breaking laugh people do when attempting to placate everyone else.

ID a shit test, how about no? I'll decide what I will react to.