Almost 2 years into my LTR / LDR. I moved 3+ hours away and almost at the same time took the pill about halfway into the relationship. Really changed how I want to carry myself and improve myself. I've become more confident as a person and have stopped becoming [most of] my old emotional "I want to be everybody's friend!" self. However we all have our setbacks as we try to defeat our former blue selves, so please help snap me back into perspective. And I know 3+ hours of distance isn't that much but it's still a crummy situation when you can only see each other every 5-6 weeks due to work/school/rest of life.

My LTR is a great person. She is not at all unfaithful or flirty with other guys. In fact, she's pretty dependent on me to make decisions in the relationship and is very much in love with me. I love her too as we've had a really great relationship overall, and I can lean on her to be there for me. NOT saying she's EVERYTHING or that she's PERFECT - far from it - but she's definitely closer to the "will love you for who you are" side of the female population. I know TRP says we need to be the rock in the relationship, but showing a sensitive side can really make a solid bond. Some other relationships could function a bit different from others and in less common ways - this could be debatable and vary based on culture, religion, etc..., and in our case, it's cultural upbringing.

Now what makes it tough is that ever since I swallowed the pill and took better care of myself, I've become more confident overall. I've been able to hold a stronger frame around anybody and embody the stature of a more confident being. All this came together in small "field tests" I did (could've closed with a girl after some flirting, but didn't cross the line... calling out shit tests... diffusing lvl 80 beta behaviors from others...), confirming pretty much everything else I've learned on RP... This helps me feel like I could push myself forward now more than ever.

I'm young. I want to learn what else is out there. I want to travel and meet people and enjoy the benefits of being single and unattached. On the other hand, I also want to keep my LTR, as she is a special person to me. We've been through a lot together, but if we break up, we will never see each other again and a lot of our mutual friends will be awkwardly affected. I've been a great influence in her life as well so I know she will be extremely affected... But these thoughts of "what else am I missing out on?" (and I know I'm missing out on a LOT) persist and keep me guilty of even wanting that. I also feel like it's unfair to her that I get to keep her on one hand hoping we end up together when I personally have other priorities and ideas in mind first before any of that.

So what do? I know you can't have everything and need to pick your battles... and I feel like I'm being selfish for this, but at the same time can't shake off my curiosity and longing to enjoy these years of my life single and unattached. I'm sure some of you have been in a similar situation, so please do share some insight on how to move past it, what you did or what you recommend, and snap me back into perspective.

TLDR; In a good LTR / LDR, but am curious on what I am missing out on and can gain from pushing myself some more. Feeling guilty and selfish for wanting and wondering.

Edit: I know some parts of this sound like the female hamster. I've read plenty. But isn't it actually better to travel, explore and learn to be your own person better and more effective unattached? Thanks for everyone's comments. This community rocks.